Mine
by Tiggerme
Summary: My first fic, work in-progress, I suck at summaries. set several years after the avengers movie. Steve thought Loki was madly in love with him just as he was in love with Loki. could that be false? what happens when an old enemy comes into the picture, who will be harmed? both physically and mentally. CapsLok
1. Mine

I sat down at the table, placing my sketch pad on the table mat. My eyes glance over and I catch the green colour in his eyes.

_Mine…._

I thought to myself. Smiling lightly just as the waitress arrived to take our order.

'Ah yes, the usual then hmm?' Mary looked at us for approval to write down what we always get, a soy latte with extra cream for me, an earl grey tea for my partner. And a pile of fresh pancakes smothered with syrup and wild berries, to share.

'Yes please just the usual, thanks Mary' I smile up at her, she is so kind, and unlike others doesn't frown upon my choice of date. I skim my fingers across my sketch pad, contemplating whether or not I should begin to draw, just as a cool hand brushes against my fingers. My eyes flicker up and I catch the smirk playing across my partners lips.

_Those lips… so red.. so soft… so.. __**Mine**__.._

'Steve, I was wondering, perhaps we should take up Stark's idea.. it would be nice to not get interrupted by him all the time'

He smiled at me, just as his tea was placed in front of him. 'Ah thanks..' I saw the partial glare in his eyes as he looked up at Mary. 'And here is your coffee Steve, oh careful it's hot' she smiled down at me and turned around, heading back inside.

'what was that look for?' I asked as I take a small sip of my coffee.

_Ooh it is hot._

He sighed and lifted his tea to his lips, blowing across the top to cool it. 'She is always staring at you… I don't like her, she is weak and pathetic' his normally soft green eyes were narrowed as he glared down at his cup. I chuckle.

_He always gets jealous.._

'Hey listen to me, you're all I could ever want.. She is nice yeah but I don't want nice, I want you, **only **you' I grab his hand and bring it to my lips, placing a gently kiss on them. 'You're so cute when you're jealous, your mine.. My little Loki.. .' I release his hands and reach my arm out, stroking his cheek lightly.

'Mine…' I whisper.

The raven haired man scoffed, rolling his eyes as he leans back in his seat. 'Must you call me that? I am not your 'little' anything…' he lifts his head to the sky, just as a red and yellow flying object zooms past.

_Flying a bit low there aren't we Stark?_

'The man of iron is back, perhaps we should return' Loki lowers his head and looks at me. I briefly nod my head as I take a mouthful of my latte, sucking in a puff of air at the sudden burn against my tongue. 'Can we at least wait to get our pancakes in a doggy bag?' I use my famous smile on him, it usually does the trick when I want something. 'tsk, fine' the god flexes the muscles in his arms, causing me to spill some coffee down my shirt due to my lack of paying attention.

_Oh man that's hot!_

I jump up and grab a handful of napkins, dabbing at the wet patches. 'Now why did you do that?' Loki chuckles as he moves to help me out. 'Oh my Steve are you ok? Here let me help' Mary had returned, with our delicious pancakes. She grabbed a napkin and began rubbing it on my shirt, which was totally fine, except for the fact that my boyfriend is a total jealous type.

I shoot Loki a quick glance, flinching at the expression on his face.

_No don't freak out, I like this place and I don't want to get banned._

'Excuse me human, he is just fine without your help!' Loki glared at Mary, making her back of a little. 'I.. I'm sorry sir, I was just trying to help' she looked at me and bit her lip, not sure what to say. 'It's fine Loki, she was just helping me, here Mary thanks for the help' I handed her the payment for the drinks and food 'he is just having a bad day'. I turned around and picked up my things, deciding to leave the pancakes and just go, before Loki gets even angrier.


	2. Trouble

We both entered Tony's office just in time, Tony was just about to pour his scotch. 'Ah there you two are, I thought I flew past you guys at that little café' Tony turned around and smiled at us, only to pause as he stared at the coffee stains on my shirt.

'My god! Steve that is Armani!' Tony spluttered as he quickly walked towards me, reaching out and grabbing me by the collar.

_Armani? What? _

'This.. Is Armani for heavens sake, you don't ruin Armani' he shook his head and released me, noting the pissed of look on Loki's face.

Tony poked his head out the door 'Pepper! Get in here I have a shirt that needs to be cleaned IMMEDIATELY!' Tony cleared his throat, sat behind his desk, and took a large mouthful of his scotch.

'Well I'm glad you two are here, Fury called in and said there is an avengers meeting' Tony looked at me, then at Loki, who was still fuming. 'uh, Loki you can tag along I suppose… but its just for avengers so you wont be fighting, not like you can' Tony gave a light snort as he stood up and casually walked towards the door. Loki scowled at him, shooting me a look that says "_can I kill him?_" I shake my head at him and follow Tony.

Pepper had just arrived; she glanced at me and smiles softly, her eyes looking down at my shirt.

_Ah pepper, even though you and Tony are engaged, he still treats you like his nanny._

'Steve what happened?' Pepper laughed lightly as she placed her hand on my shoulder, glancing down at me once more. 'I distracted him, it appears he still has a weakness for me, even if I am in a simple mortal form' Loki said as he gave a crooked smile to Pepper. 'Oh I see, well here is a spare shirt, ill clean your one' she handed me a nice new shirt, most likely one of Tony's, and walked of with my stained shirt.

Loki and I followed Tony up to the meeting room, where the rest of the avengers were waiting. There was Natasha in the corner, seated next to her partner Clint. They were whispering quietly to each other, giving us a small nod of acknowledgment before returning to there conversation. They looked like they were arguing over something, perhaps it was about how Thor walked in on them in a heated make out session.

_Why do they even need to hide it? We all know they hooked up at the new years eve party.._

I chuckle lightly, those two had feelings for each other, but they hide it, how odd. Bruce was looking out the window, probably thinking about Betty Ross, I let out a small sigh as I notice the pained look on his face, he recently got a letter saying that Betty had passed away. There was an accident in the lab, Betty was too close to the explosion, and needless to say it took a long time calming Banner down.

_Poor guy, I can't imagine losing the person I love…_

I look at Loki, the thought of losing him made my stomach do flips. If I lost him I wouldn't be able to live with myself.

Loki gave me a small smile, as if knowing what I was thinking, he leaned over and gave me a small peck on the corner of my mouth.

_Don't you ever leave me, you may think you are tough but you are only human._

I smile back at him, leaning slightly towards the warmth radiating from his body. My attention gets drawn to activity towards the end of the room, agent Hill is seated on the edge of a couch, laughing merrily with agent Coulson. They had been married for almost a year now, it came as a surprise when they announced there engagement. But we supported them, they make such a lovely couple.

_At least Phil has stopped fawning over me._

I briefly shake my head, he does still show interest though, you never truly get over your boy crush do you? As I sit down at the large table, Fury strides in with a folder tucked under his arm. Loki leans over to me, whispering softly in my ear. 'I honestly don't see how he can stand that eye patch. Perhaps if he would allow me I could fix his eye?' I give a soft chuckle, has he forgotten he doesn't have his powers anymore? 'I keep telling you Steve, brother gave me back a small amount of my powers for my deeds last month, I have the power to heal'

I smile, good it means he can heal himself if he ever needs it. I casually look around the room at the other team members, Thor was leaning against the wall staring at Loki, like usual keeping a close eye on his brother. Thor has been spending a lot of time here on earth, keeping track of what Loki gets up to. Thor thanks me a lot, he is happy that I have decided to make Loki my partner, he says it makes Loki different.

I glance over at where Tony was seated, Pepper was right next to him, typing into her laptop.

_Probably doing Tony's work, but if she doesn't mind I guess its ok._

Tony still had a glass of scotch, every now and again he would shake it slightly then raise it to his smirking lips and take a sip. Pepper would occasionally lean close to Tony, inform him about an issue that the company is going through. And as usual Tony would shrug it of, telling her money would fix it.

_Gosh you'd think that he would have learnt his lesson by now, but he is a billionaire, can't really blame him…_

'So I'm sure you are all wondering why I asked you here.' I was broken out of my thoughts by Fury speaking, he was now standing at the head of the table, placing a folder down in front of him and seating. 'There is an issue, a rather large issue' he looked around at all of us, one by one taking in our appearance and silently judging us.

_That man can probably guess what all of us has been up to in the past week, with just one look at us._

I shiver slightly as his cold stare lands on me, he was the only one that hadn't given his approval of my relationship with Loki. Fury stares at me for no longer then 3 seconds, but it feels like eternity. He had spoken to me privately after I had declared my love for Loki, telling me I was making a huge mistake and that Loki was still the enemy. Fury moves his gaze down to the folder in front of him, reaching his hand out and flipping it open. 'Alright, here's how it goes, S.H.I.E.L.D is picking up radio chatter about some new up-and-coming threat to our way of life. Not sure exactly what it is, but I need eyes. Barton, watch the skys, Romonoff, give me an ETA on the ground troupes. Stark I need radio feeds, Banner… see if there is a gamma signatures in the area that don't match up, and you…' his eyes once again landed on me, a cold glance in Loki's direction, 'keep the little shit occupied.'

I briefly sigh, ever since I became public about my feelings for Loki Fury has been reluctant about sending me on missions. He seems to think that my head is damaged and I am blinded to real issues.

_I suppose I am a little different out on field, I usually worry about the troubles Loki is getting into.._

I heard Loki growl lightly, not appreciating being insulted. I slide my hand over his and squeeze it slightly, trying to calm him. The others start to head out, leaving me and Loki alone in the boring office. Even Pepper got a job, going over newspaper articles to see if there are any odd things going on.

'Who does he think he is? He can't treat us like that, treat **you **like that' Loki scoffed as he jumped out of his seat and walked towards the large windows, staring down at the city below. 'He jut doesn't approve of.. Us' I say as I walk up behind him, wrapping my arms loosely around his waist.

'Well, it gives us some alone time' I press my lips to his neck, enjoying the small moan that falls from his mouth. I slide my hands down his sides, searching for his sweet spot that makes him.. 'ohh Steve, no not here, its too open..' Loki gasped as he pulled away from me, quickly turning around and grabbing my arm, tugging me out of the room. I smirk, he is so weak. 'The bedroom is much safer' Loki muttered to himself, walking quickly to the elevator.

_Sometimes I wonder who the dominant one is here.. _

The elevator dings and we are out and headed down the corridor, Loki still in the lead with his hand tightly gripping my wrist. I suppose it has been 3 days… We stop in front of my door, Loki panting slightly. Not because we were running, but because of the obvious tent in his pants. I smirk, 'mm Loki, excited are we?' I lower my free hand and palm his crotch, earning a low growl from Loki. He reached his hand behind him and opened the door, tugging me inside with him.

_Times like these I'm glad I don't get sent on missions, more time with my lover…_

The door was slammed shut, leaving whatever happens inside a complete mystery.


	3. Activites

Loki shoved me against the closed door, thrusting his hips forwards in an attempt to cause friction. I moan softly as he lowers his head and begins sucking and nipping at my exposed throat. Loki's slender fingers slowing begin undoing my buttoned shirt, slipping his fingers under the cloth to rub my sensitive skin.

'Oh Loki, mmm' I hum lowly as his thumb brushes my nipple, causing a jolt of electricity to run down my spine.

_This man is going to be the death of me…_

I hear Loki give a breathy laugh, his warm breath cascading down my already hot skin. My shirt was soon discarded and thrown to the ground, followed by the rest of our clothing as we make our way to the bed.

I felt the back of my legs hit the edge of the bed, Loki's lips still hot against mine. Loki pushed me down onto the bed, settling himself between my legs. I could feel his lower half pressing against my crotch, I was already so hard. Loki pulled back from our heavy kissing, a strand of saliva joining our lips.

'The things I plan to do to you' Loki murmured as he pressed his lips to my throat, moving slowly down, kissing and biting as he goes. He reaches my collar bone and pauses, he knows I'm sensitive. His tongue flicks across my skin, as his hands move down my body, getting closer and closer to my pelvic region.

I buck my hips upwards in an attempt to hurry him up, he is such a tease. Loki takes the hint and covers his hand over my throbbing erection. 'Ahh Loki Loki…' I moan softly, his touch relieving some of the pressure. I felt his lips curl up in a smirk against my skin, his head moving lower to place gentle, wet kisses to my chest.

Loki started to pump my member, at a painfully slow pace. He moves his mouth to my left nipple, sucking and licking it like an animal. Loki let out a soft moan as I drag my hand down his back, hooking my leg up around his waist. 'Loki, mm I want you so bad' I purr as I feel Loki's length press against my thigh. Loki continued to lay wet kisses down my chest, pausing to admire my abdomen, then continuing down to where skin met blonde curls. I felt Loki's hand move from my cock, drawing out a displeased whimper from me.

'Don't stop' I whisper, my hips moving upwards. I could see the smirk in Loki's eyes as he stared down at me, his mouth parted slightly in an attempt to steady his breathing. He lowered his body so he was eye level with my member, his breath against it causing waves of pleasure to crash through me.

_Don't just stare at it! Do something, ANYTHING!_

I whine out loud as Loki continues to blow air across my penis, he was teasing me. Finally I felt the tip of his tongue run slowly, so so slowly, along the underside of my cock. His hand reaching up to cup my balls as he continued to lick my erection, earning pleasured moans from me. He sucked the tip into his mouth, sliding his tongue across the slit and licking at the pre-cum that dribbled out.

'Mmm Steve, I love the way taste' Loki murmured around my length, making a pleasurable vibration to occur. I let my head fall against the pillow, moaning loudly as Loki continued his sinful actions. I felt myself hitting the back of Loki's throat, He bobbed his head up and down, moaning around my cock.

My back arched of the bed as I felt my orgasm drawing near. 'Ah Loki stop, I'm so close' I murmur, reaching my hand down and tugging on his raven locks. Loki slowly pulled his head back, his lips being connected to the tip of my penis by a string of spit and pre-cum.

'On your back' I order him as I reach over to the bedside cabinet, grabbing a condom. Loki grabbed my wrist, 'no leave the protection, I want to feel your hot seeds inside me' he looked up at me with dark, lust filled eyes. I swallowed the lump in my throat and nodded my head, dropping the condom back into the draw.

I stare down at his body, his pale skin seemed to glow in the dim light coming from my lamp. When he was banished to earth he had to take the form of a human, not like I'm complaining, he has a well muscled body that I just want to ravish.

I move my head down to his neck, finding his sensitive spot immediately as I sink my teeth into his flesh. Loki cried out at the feeling.

_There is a fine line between pain and pleasure._

I release my bite, proud of the mark I left, and I move down lower, licking at his cool skin. While I was marking him, I slipped my hand down his thigh, caressing him tenderly as I make my way to his ass. My fingers find the tight ring of muscles surrounding his hole. I smile deeply as I feel him shudder underneath me. My lips still against his flesh, sucking at times.

I drew my hand up to his mouth, sticking 3 fingers past his lips. 'Suck' I order him, as I playfully nibbled his nipple. He did as he was told and sucked in my fingers, coating them with his saliva. When they were fully wet I pulled them from his mouth, and made my way back down to his entrance.

I teased the area around his hole, relishing the soft purrs Loki released. Finally I slid my index finger inside his heat, curling it at the knuckle. 'Oh Steve!' Loki thrust his hips upwards. I slipped in a second finger, scissoring them so I stretched Loki out more.

_I love how he is always so tight._

Loki whined my name, his body lifting slightly of the bed. I thrust a third finger in, loving every little thrust Loki gives. I could feel my erection aching to be inside him, to feel his hot walls clamp tightly when he orgasms, but I must prepare him, no matter how he complains.

A few moments later I slowly pull my fingers out of Loki, deciding he was stretched enough. I raised my fingers to my lips and sucked on them, tasting nothing but Loki.

_He always taste amazing_

I looked down at him, my little Loki. He was spread out underneath me, panting and blushing like a teenage virgin.

I tried to hide my smirk, if only the others knew how Loki came undone when we were alone. The way he let me take hold of the reigns, how Loki would mewl and moan and beg me for release. He was mine, and I was his, we were equal in every way.

I gently spread his legs out, gaining further entrance to him. Loki whimpered softly, his patience running low. I too was growing edgy at my growing arousal, desperately wanting to be buried inside him.

I positioned myself at his entrance, looking up at him for approval. Loki simply wriggled his hips, circling his legs around my waist. I smiled.

_For a fierce god, you sure are cute._

I leaned down and kissed him on the mouth, slowly easing myself into him. I groaned at the tightness that enveloped itself around my cock, forcing myself to stop so I don't rip into Loki. I heard Loki moan, his hips moving upwards to meet with mine. I took that as a sign and I continued to move into him, holding onto his hips tightly.

_Sorry Loki, the bruises will go away with time.. But I can't hold on any longer._

I gently bucked my hips into him, moaning loudly when his hips crash against mine. 'Steve, fuck me.. Harder!' Loki cried out as he took handfuls of the sheet. I smirked, _with pleasure…_

I wrapped my arms around Loki, pulling him up into my lap. I started thrusting up into him, hitting him at a different angle this way. I heard Loki cry out, I was hitting his prostate with every sharp thrust of my hips. Loki wrapped his arms around my shoulders, burying his neck in the crook of my neck as he started moving on top of me. I let out a deep growl, my hands gripping Loki's hips tightly and thrusting them downwards, wanted to be deeper inside him.

'Oh gods! Steeeeevve' Loki whined in that heavenly voice of his, purring in my ear and urging me to give him more. I continued thrusting into Loki, my hands groping his hips so tight I was surprised he hadn't mentioned any pain. But I suppose when you are at the point of screaming you don't care about much. Loki had his head tilted back, his mouth shaped like an O, and he was crying out my name over and over. I started to lay sloppy kisses down his neck, sucking at his sensitive spot, only to earn another half cry from Loki.

'Ohhh Stevieee, please give me.. nggg.. M..Morree' Loki whimpered as his head dropped down into my neck once more. I felt his body start to shake, he was close. My hands loosened slightly on his hips, I could feel my own orgasm rising. My stomach tightened as I felt the center of my core tighten, I was close, so close. 'Hnng.. Loki I'm so close, ahh.. I don't know if I can hold it any longer' I moaned into his ear, nibbling his ear lobe gently. 'Mmhmm cum inside me Steve, I want to feel the hot mess dripping down my thighs' he murmured into my neck, moaning when I thrust my hips upwards again, slamming into him.

_There are many perks to being a super soldier, one of which is my strength._

I closed my eyes as I feel Loki clench around me, his body tensing up and releasing his held in orgasm. 'Oh my gods Steve!' Loki screamed out, his nails biting into my skin. I nearly came right then, the feeling of Loki's walls close in tightly around me, hearing my name roll of his tongue so naturally. But I held it for a little longer, enjoying the moment.

I gave a few more thrust before I couldn't hold on any longer, my body seized up, and I gripped Loki tightly, causing him to whimper in my ear. My head rocked backwards and I saw stars behind my closed eye lids. 'Oooohhhhh Loki' I moan loudly, biting my tongue to stop my scream.

I came deep inside Loki, my hot seed filling him up. I let out a deep groan, carefully lowering Loki down on the bed. I pull myself out of him and roll onto my side, laying next to him.

'That.. was incredible' Loki murmured as he snuggled into my arms. I smiled down at him, pulling him close to my body. 'Perhaps we should go have a shower, it is only mid day' I suggest, but I make no attempt at moving.

_These moments right here, is what I love the most, being able to hold you in my arms._

Loki chuckled softly as he wearily cuddled me, his head resting on my shoulder. 'Mmm maybe we could rest a little' he whispered, his eyes fluttering shut. My hand gently brushed his cheek, a smile creeping across my face at his innocence. 'All right, just for a little bit' I laid a kiss to his forehead, and joined him in his quiet nap. Our previous activity had taken a lot out of me.


	4. Heart-ache

_Mhhmmm.. what is that noise?_

I groan softly, tilting my head to the side in an attempt to figure out what that sound was.

'Excuse me sir, I am terribly sorry to awake you from your slumber but Mr Stark said it was very important' a robotic voice rang out through the otherwise quiet room. I let out a sigh, J.A.R.V.I.S was the sound that woke me.

I dropped my head back down onto the pillow, smiling at the sight in front of me. Loki was snuggled into my side, his eyes closed and his face free from any anger or stress. He looked so at peace, the corners of his lips curving up in a soft smile.

I lift my head up to peek over Loki's shoulder, glancing at the clock. 'Wow it's 3:00 pm already?' I ask myself, as I slowly pull myself out of Loki's warm embrace. 'Mmm Stevie?' Loki lifted his head and peered at me, his dark hair framing his face. I smile warmly down at him, 'sorry, didn't mean to wake you up, it seems I'm needed by Tony.' I lean down and press my lips to his forehead.

'Ok, guess they decided to let you in on the mission' Loki said as he sat up, his hair falling to his shoulders. I smile at him, grabbing my clothes and quickly dressing myself, making my way to the door.

'How about you go clean up, I'll meet you down at the conference room ok?' I ask him, just as I open the door to leave. Loki smiled warmly up at me, nodding his head as he walked into the bathroom.

_I'm the only one that sees that smile, I love you…_

I shrugged into my jacket, making my way down the hall and to the elevator. Once inside I sigh deeply, wishing I could be under the warm waves of the shower, running my fingers through Loki's dark hair….

_The fun we have had in that shower._

I shake my head briefly, trying to clear my head, it would be terrible to walk into the conference room while aroused. The elevator door pinged, opening up onto the ground floor. I head out, turning left and walking fast. 'J.A.R.V.I.S said it was important…' I mumble, as I press against the conference room doors and make my way inside.

I notice Tony leaning against the wall, holding a glass of scotch. Natasha was standing in front of him with her hands on her hips, yelling about something which only Tony could get in trouble for. 'Of course you had to do that! Tony Stark! The big guy!' She threw her hands in the air to emphasize. 'Honestly what was running through your mind when you did that? You pulled a civilian along with you, flew in circles, and then dropped her, letting her fall through the air and at the last second caught her!' Natasha shook her head, obviously wanting to punch him. Tony merely shrugged it of, taking a sip of his scotch and chuckled. 'In my defence I did get her number' Tony laughed, holding up a piece of paper with a scribbled 10 digit number.

I stood there in the door way, watching as Natasha gave a small growl, turning around and walking over to agent Barton. 'Tony that was a douche move, what if you missed that poor girl?' Bruce started, as he walked over to Tony, taking his glasses of. 'You would have had hell to pay' he stared at Tony, shaking his head slightly. 'Oh come on Robert, me? Make a mistake? HA you make me laugh' Tony gently whacked Bruce on the arm, casually walking over to his seat. Bruce groaned, rubbing his neck softly and placing his glasses back on. 'Tony you don't realise the consequences, next time just do your job' He says as he sits down, opening up his laptop to continue his search.

I open my mouth to say something, getting cut of by a loud booming voice. 'STARK! What the hell?! I just heard you dropped, DROPPED, a civilian 3 stories through the air' Fury stormed in, glaring coldly at Tony. 'Well I caught her, it's not like I let her fall to her death' the playboy gave a light chuckle, seemingly amused with himself. Fury took in a deep breath, slamming his fist down on the table. 'You think this is a joke don't you? we have a reputation to uphold, I have to make you people look good so the government doesn't shut us down! Now whether you want to help with that or not, I don't care, because this is your last chance Stark'

Fury groaned slightly, turning his head around and his eye locked onto me. 'Where's lover boy?' he asked me, his eye narrowing at the though of Loki being left alone. I clear my throat, 'in the shower, he'll be down here shortly' I say, noting the grimace that Fury gives.

_Wow he really doesn't like Loki.._

Tony's head jolts up as he looks at me, standing upright making his scotch splash against his shirt. 'Steve there you are! I have asked J.A.R.V.I.S countless times to get you, what took so long?' Tony shook his head 'Doesn't matter, hey kiddo we need you help, is it wrong that I dropped a girl 3 stories, BUT caught her?' Tony looked at me, the corners of his lips tweaking up in a smirk. I scoff, 'Tony that is a horrible thing to do, she must have freaked!' I shake my head.

_He woke me up for this? I could be in the shower with Loki right now… or snuggled in bed with him._

'Wait before you go, Steve I want you on this job, someone needs to take care of these children' Fury said, as he walked towards me and handed me a folder containing the information on the current mission. I nodded my head, what else could I do? Refuse?

_Ha not likely, I'm the captain after all… _

'Yes sir' I looked down at the folder, flipping through its contents. 'Oh thank god, I don't like I'd be able to stand having Tony as team 'captain' he is a horrible leader' Natasha says as she gave me a small smile, patting me on the shoulder. I chuckle down at her 'well that's why they call me captain America.'

I look down at my watch, 3:25, Loki should be down shortly. A soft smile crosses my face, which quickly turns into a frown. 'Wait who is going to look after Loki?' I ask, looking around the room. Fury had left soon after he gave me the folder.

Well it's not like he needs to be taken care of? He will be fine, he is a big boy after all' Tony says as he sits back down, drinking his scotch. I roll my eyes at him. 'Yeah I know, just Fury wouldn't want him left alone' I say as I take a seat, stretching out slightly.

'Ok well how about we head out? It's calmed down out there, and we need to figure this out' Barton says as he grabs his gear, already heading out the door. The others quickly agree, gathering whatever items they may need and making there way out. 'I'm just going upstairs real quick, to let Loki know' I say as I walk back to the elevator.

As I walk to my room, I notice something. Not a physical thing, just the air, it's dry and cold.

_Tony must have altered the temperature again.._

I open up my door, taking a few steps in only to stop dead in my tracks. Something definitely isn't right… 'Loki…?' I call out, an uneasy feeling settling in my stomach. I head into the bathroom, the shower was of and his clothes were gone. I tried to swallow, my throat suddenly dry and sore. 'Loki?... Where are you' I say, my voice just barely above a whisper.

I walk back into the bedroom, scanning the area for any clues pointing towards Loki's whereabouts. My eyes land on a neatly folded piece of paper, resting on Loki's pillow. 'He must have left it for me..' I mumble, stumbling over to the side of the bed. My fingers reach out and grasp the note. I quickly unfold it and proceed to read it.

_Steven_

_I cannot tell you how much these past few months have meant to me, so let me summarize my feelings with one word: nothing. Since I crawled back to your snivelling Realm I have felt nothing but distain for you and your pathetic Midgardian race._

_I found it all too easy to gain your trust, after all, you were the man lost in time. Without a home, without a place._

_You digust me, with you talk of 'love' and 'happiness'_

_Every time your cock entered my mouth I wanted to bite it off. _

_I hope you rot in whatever hell you believe in, for I was there every time you said my name. _

_-Loki_

…. I dropped to the bed, unable to breathe. The note slipped past my fingers and fluttered to the ground. My heart felt like it had just been sliced in half, although at this point I don't even think my heart was in my chest. 'No… I.. I don't believe it..' I mumble, my voice shaky as I choke on my words. I stare down at the note lying on the ground. I slowly reach down and pick it back up, opening it out and re-reading it. 'It can't be true! I don't believe it.. NO' I shake my head as tears roll down my cheek, my hands trembling as I continue to read the note, flipping it over and over. Nothing seemed to add up, Loki had been faking the whole time?

I placed the note back on the pillow, tears still running down my cheeks. I drop my head into my hands and I weep, unable to stop my body from crashing.

I sat there for a long time, hours, until Clint came looking for me. I had stopped crying, but I was still in the same position. Head in hands, bent over, slightly trembling. 'Hey… Steve? W-what happened?' Clint sat down beside me, resting a hand on my shoulders. I didn't answer, my eyes glued to the floor between my feet. 'Steve, hey buddy you can tell me anything' Clint said as he lowered his head, trying to see my face. Finally I straightened up, my hands falling to my knees as I turn to face Clint. 'He left' I whisper, my eyes still red from the countless tears I had shed. Clint didn't have to think long before he realised I was talking about Loki. 'I-I'm sorry man, that sucks' Clint grimaced, he wasn't good at comforting people.

I shook my head, standing upright and grabbing my coat. 'I should have known better, he is a god of mischief..' I say as I start to walk out, not sure where I was heading. 'Steve where are you going? Lets tal…' Clint had just picked up the note, reading it fully. 'Oh.. oh Steve I'm sorry' he mumbled. Looking up at me with round eyes. I shake my head, deciding I needed some air. 'I just want to be alone right now Clint, please' I say as I walk down the corridor, entering the elevator and leaving Stark towers.


	5. Forever

I kicked at the sidewalk, staring darkly at the cracked cement like it was the reason Loki left. 'Why?' I whisper, as I continue to glare coldly at the ground, 'why did he drag me along like that?' I feel a tear run down my cheek, quickly reaching up and wiping it away. I sigh deeply, lifting up my head to figure out where my feet had taken me.

I felt a sharp pang in my chest, I was at the café, _our _café. I shifted my feet, almost turning to leave before something catches my eye. A man with dark hair, brushed back away from his face, he was wearing a scarf, and a dark green suit.

'Loki?!' I gasp, turning towards the man, he was seated at the table we always sat at, a warm smile spread across his lips as he stared at a young women across from him. I briefly shook my head, realising it was an ordinary man. My chest hurt, watching the man lean forward and kiss his date. 'Why cant that be me and Loki?' I whisper, trudging forward and sinking into one of the chairs outside the café.

I rock my head back, staring up at the starry sky. I started to chew the inside of my cheek, my thoughts flowing back to the raven god that had stolen my heart… 'Oh hey Steve!' a perky voice made me snap back into reality, jerking my head forward and opening my eyes up to stare at Mary, a friend I had made while making frequent visits to this place. 'So no Loki?' Mary asked as she looked around, gently tapping her pen against the pad in her hands. I bit my lip, not wanting to talk about that subject. Mary turned her gaze back on me, seeing the pain in my face she quickly shook her head, 'ok well what can I get for you?' Mary exclaimed as she smiled brightly at me, trying to get me to smile back.

My thoughts once again wander, I remember the day we first met….

'_Ok here you are sir! A soy latte with extra cream, and pancakes with syrup and fresh berries' the waitress smiled brightly down at me, handing me my drink and breakfast. I gave her a nod and smiled back 'thanks Ma'am.' She giggled 'please call me Mary, have a nice breakfast' she gave me a gentle wave and headed of, taking some other customers order. I watched her for a little while, she was cute, happy, nice. 'Suppose she has to be nice, part of the job' I mumble, going back to my sketching. I had been drawing the Stark tower for half an hour now, the design was interesting to me. I would never tell Tony this but, I like his taste. I chuckle, if I told Tony that he wouldn't let me forget it._

_I reach over grabbing my cup and bringing it back to my lips. I blow gently to cool it, taking a small sip and placing it back on the table. I stare down at my drawing, feeling proud at my artwork. _

'_You seem so calm, drinking your midgardian beverage and sketching that awful tower' a voice spoke, my head snapped up and I was staring at Loki, god of mischief, my enemy. I didn't react, blinking once and just staring at him. 'What? Cat got your tongue?' he smirked, his eyes scanning down my body. 'L-Loki?! What are you doing here? I ask, sitting upright as I narrow my eyes at the god. _

_Loki tilted his head to the side, staring at me with a serious look on his face. 'You need not be afraid of me mortal, I am not your enemy anymore, I have been sent to earth to pay for my sins' he grimaced and looked away. 'My brother has banished me, I am to serve the humans until he deems me worthy of returning home' Loki faced me again, 'So I came to the avengers, figured I'd start there' he partially shrugged, just as Mary, the waitress returned. _

'_Here you go sir, one earl grey tea' she smiled down at Loki, placing his drink in front of him. Loki gave her a half nod, watching her movements as she walked inside the café. 'Anyway.. I thought I'd come to you first, since you are the captain' Loki said as he lifts his tea to his lips, taking a brief sip, then slowly places his cup back down on the table. The whole time I just watch him, unsure whether to make a move and defend myself, or to just stay seated and see where he plans on taking this. _

_I shift in my seat, deciding to stay and listen to him. 'So, you aren't here for revenge, or another attempt at destroying the planet?' I ask as I place my sketch pad back on the table. Keeping my eyes locked on Loki. 'No, although that doesn't mean I'm here in a peaceful way' Loki gave me a harsh look, 'I don't want to be here, serving you pathetic creatures, but I have no choice' Loki sighed and looked down at his hands 'until I have paid my dues, I am stuck here, without any powers.' Loki groaned softly, lifting his head up to stare at the sky 'until my brother thinks I have learnt my lesson' he muttered. _

_I chew on my lip, wondering if he was tricking me. Loki lowered his head, eyes locking with mine. I couldn't help but notice how green they are. I shake my head, he is the enemy don't think those types of thoughts…_

_I sigh, 'ok well, you're going to serve us then? To repay us? That may take awhile, since you destroyed half of New York last time you where here.' Loki snorted, taking another sip of his tea. 'Well how hard could it be? You midgardians are so easily pleased, I simply have to figure out what each of you want and bingo I'm out of here' his lips curved into a playful smirk, he was obviously trying to persuade me. I keep a straight face, my eyes scanning his body and facial features for any sign of trickery. 'I'm being utterly honest with you captain, if you do not believe me then ask my brother, he is in the Stark tower now speaking to the man of iron about it' Loki gave me an innocent smile, cocking his head to the left. _

_I stare bewildered at him, this man really was the god of mischief, he could fool any man with a few words from his silver tongue and a couple of body movements. This man could even fool me, for I found myself fighting the urge to smile, the corners of my lips twitching as I quickly hide the oncoming smile by drinking my latte. 'Well, if you insist, although you are going to have to prove it' I say as I look at him, the innocent look gone, replaced by a proud smirk. 'Oh of course, well I guess we could chat? That is what you humans do to gain trust yes?' he asked as he leaned forward slightly, taking my fork and scooping up some of the fresh berries from my pancakes, sliding the fork casually into his mouth. _

_I couldn't fight the urge as I lick my lips, watching as Loki licked the fork clean of the sticky syrup and berry juices. Loki had noticed my interest, a grin beginning to form on his face. 'Yes I suppose we do, well we could talk about the ground rules of this arrangement?' I say as I manage to tear my eyes away from the god in front of me, looking upwards towards Stark tower. _

'Steve?'

_Why was he making me feel this way? I may be a super soldier but even I am not immune to his god like powers, or maybe he isn't using powers, maybe I am just attracted to him? No, impossible, he is the enemy, it would never work._

'Uh.. Steven?'

A hand was gently shaking me out of my sub-conscious, pulling me back to reality. 'Would never work…' I mutter as I shake my head, looking up to Mary. 'Pardon? Steve are you ok? Did something happen between you and Loki?' she looked down at me with concern filled eyes, her hand resting on my shoulder. I take in a deep breath, my chest feeling heavy after that sudden flashback. I gave Mary a weak smile, 'yeah it's fine, I'm fine, honest' I lied, it wasn't fine, and I wasn't fine. I got up from the seat, giving Mary another half hearted smile, and I left.

I don't know how long it was before I decided to go back home, maybe it was the sudden downpour of rain that made me decide I had walked long enough. Or maybe it was the constant parade of couples rushing past, huddled under their umbrellas in an attempt to keep warm and dry, that made me want to roll myself up in my sheets and sleep away the pain. The pain of losing the only thing that made me feel whole inside, the pain of realising the past 6 months have been a total lie, the pain of having to come home to a house full of constant reminders of the man I gave my heart to.

The phone rang constantly throughout the night, messages were left, mostly from Clint, the only one that had seen me after I read the note left by Loki. I didn't sleep much, Thor must have been out having a rage, thunder and lightning were having a fight to the death outside. Loki had broken his promise, the promise he made to all of us, to me. I buried my head deep into my pillow, wishing I could stop thinking about him, stop caring so much, but I can't.

So I stay like this, in this pitiful state, curled up on my side, hugging my pillow to my chest, thinking non stop about Loki, _**my**_ Loki. For even if he does not want me, he will forever be the man I fell in love with. Forever.


	6. Memories

I roll onto my back, groaning softly as the sun shines brightly in my eyes. I stretch my arms out across the bed, frowning at the amount of room I have. I sit up in my bed, running my hands along the top of the sheets. The side that Loki sleeps on is bare, and cold. Memories of yesterday come flooding back to me, I grimace at the thoughts, swinging my legs of the bed and resting them on the soft carpet.

How could it end like that? Why didn't I see it sooner? He is the enemy, always was. Faury made that very clear to me. 'I hate him' I spit, jumping of the bed and walking into the shower.

'I hate him, I hate him, I hate him' I chant as I turn the taps and stand under the water. I begin to wash myself, wanting to wash away Loki from my body, wash away all the memories I had with him.

I stare down at the drain, watching as the suds dissolve and disappear into the dark tunnel. My mind begins to wander, the times I have spent in this shower. I chuckle, thing I'm too shy to admit, happened in this shower.

_Steve, how do you work this contraption?' Loki groaned in frustration as he slammed his hand against the shower taps once more. I smile, walking into the bathroom to aid Loki. 'like this' I murmur as I reach over, turning the taps, water started falling from the nozzle. Loki looked up, sighing in content as the warm water runs down his slender body._

'_Are you going to join me?' he asks, just as I'm about to leave. I glance back at him, taking in his naked form, glistening with water and soap. I swallow, my hands reaching down to unbutton my jeans as I close the door. Loki smirks, stepping aside as I stand underneath the shower with him._

_Loki rubs his hands up and down my chest, 'perhaps we could have some fun? Who says cleaning has to be boring.' Loki leans forward, licking my neck and laying hot kisses along my jaw. I groan into his wet hair, wrapping my arms around his waist and pressing our bodies together._

_Loki pulls my head down and kisses me, his tongue running along my bottom lip, asking for permission. I couldn't help but smile, he never waits for my approval. I decided to keep my lips sealed, testing his patience._

_Loki growls, his hands sliding down my torso and coming to a stop. I felt his fingers grip around my cock and squeeze. I gasped softly, bucking my hips forwards. Loki smirks, his tongue quickly darting inside my mouth. So that's how he wants to play? I use my strength and push him roughly against the shower wall, my body pressing firmly against his. I pull away from his kiss, dropping to me kneels in front of him._

'_They always kneel for me…' Loki purred as he licks his lips. I looked up at him, a smirk playing across my lips as I wrapped my hand around his length. Loki's head tilted back, resting on the wall. I started to pump his cock, my movements slow and drawn out. 'Fuck, Steve more' Loki snarled, thrusting his hips forwards into my hand. I chuckle, guess his patience isn't that great._

_I picked up the pace, using my other hand to gently rub his balls. I leaned forward, bringing my lips to the tip of his penis. I part my lips, sucking on the tip. My tongue flicks out and licks the pre-cum that dribbles out. _

_Loki reaches down, gripping my hair roughly. 'You're hopeless' he snapped, just as he thrusts his hips forwards, pushing past my lips. I tried not to gag as I felt his penis hit the back of my throat. He started to move his hips, his cock going in and out of my mouth. I placed my hands on his hips, trying to steady myself from his ongoing thrusts._

_Loki growled, loosening his grip on my hair. I looked up at him, the water from the shower running down my face and down my body. He stared down at me, his breath coming out in short bursts. Loki released my hair, pulling out of my mouth. 'Against the wall, now' He snarls, pulling me up from my knees and pushing me against the wall. I smirk, well its payback. _

_I rested my forearms along the wall, sticking my ass out for Loki. I felt his hands grip my hips. I cried out as he slams into me, the sudden feeling of him inside me without any warning, or stretching, alarming me. I bit my lip, pressing my forehead on the wet tiles. Loki began thrusting into me, his obviously horny body unable to stop from pounding into me. I tried to stop my cries, biting my tongue, chewing my cheek, sinking my teeth into my arm, but I couldn't stop, Loki was AMAZING._

'_Ah, Loki… right there' I moan as he brushes against my prostate. I heard him chuckle, he changed his angle and started slamming into me again. His every thrust was hitting that bundle of nerves over and over again. My head rocked back and I let out a half scream, not caring who overheard us. 'You like that? Of course you do, no matter how dignified you may act, you love the feeling of my cock in your tight ass' Loki growled as he snaked his arm around my waist and began jacking me of._

_I began to see stars, my vision going blurry as he teased and pleasured me. I arched my back away from the wall, pressing against Loki as his thumb swiped across my cock. 'Oohhhh Lokiii, f-fuck me.. M-more.. pleasee' I beg. Loki smirked widely, pulling out of me fully before he slammed into with all his strength. I came in that split second, my hot seed spilling out and mixing with the water. I screamed loudly, Loki's name rolling of my tongue as I rode out my orgasm. _

_Loki gripped my thighs, thrusting into me before groaning loudly and coming inside me. His body slumped against mine, before he took a step back and let the warm water clean him of. I dropped to my knees, panting heavily as I came down from my high. _

My eyes snap open, hearing a knock from the front door. I sigh briefly, enjoying my memory, buts that's all it was, a memory. I turned the shower of and stepped out, grabbing a towel and wrapping it around my waist. 'Coming!' I call out, quickly walking to answer the door.

I open the door up, greeted with a worried looking Clint. 'Hey, Clint? What are you doing here?' I ask, taking a step back to let him in. 'I was worried about you, I left 8 messages!' He exclaimed, looking me up and down. I gave him a smile, 'I'm fine Clint, honest I was just about to get dressed and come to the tower.' I patted him on the shoulder as I walked past him, heading into my bedroom to dry of and put some clothes on.

Clint nodded his head, although he didn't believe me. 'Ok, well hurry up, there is a big situation going on and we need you' He turned around, closing the door as he left.

I dried myself of, letting the wet towel drop to the floor as I decided on what to wear. Usually Loki would complain about certain shirts I wore, or jeans that were too hard to undo. I pulled out a plain white shirt, and some old jeans. Getting dressed quickly, and neatly combing my hair.

Once dressed and looking tidy I headed out, I needed to work, to do something, anything, to get my mind of _**him.**_


	7. Nightmares

Clint was right, this was a big problem. I was seated in the Avengers meeting room, surrounded by a number of secret agents working for SHIELD and the other team members. Fury was at the head of the room, pacing back and forth as he explained the issue. 'Well that big threat I was talking about yesterday? It's worse, Romonoff h\as gathered some minor information about the threat. His identity however remains a mistery' Fury looked at me, frowning slightly. 'Captain! Where is Loki?' he asked, glaring at me. I shifted in my seat, 'he left' I say, looking down at the table. he chuckled, 'I tried to warn you, well he has probably allied with this enemy, wouldn't surprise me' Fury was interrupted by agent Hill, she leaned towards him and told him something, useful information probably.

'Alright people we have just learnt of some very valuable news, this enemy has made some friends. Word has it, Hydra, has come out of hiding…' Whatever Fury said next I didn't hear, the word Hydra ringing in my ears. My eyes widened as I got pictures of old memories, times I had long tried to forget. The thought of Loki working alongside them made my heart clench up.

_My enemies… My nightmares…_

A hand was shaking my shoulder, snapping me out of my thoughts. 'Hey, I don't think Loki would join up with them… why would they want a human eh?' Clint tried to cheer me up, giving me a half smile. 'And anyway, you beat them once, you can do it again. Plus this time you have a team standing by your side.' Clint stood up, slowly making his way out the room.

_Damn, missed what Fury said…_

'Hey what did Fury say towards the end? I kinda zoned out' I mutter as I play with my jacket zip, trying to focus on minor things to keep from spacing out again. 'Oh nothing much, just something about us needing to get more information, and that we are shipping out to Germany or something, I dunno Tash was… distracting me' he looked up at me and smirked, I was the only one he had been fully open to about his relationship with Natasha.

I shook my head, laughing quietly. 'Her name, Black Widow, it doesn't make sense since you are still alive' I say, remembering the time Natasha told me that Black Widow's eat there partner right after they mate. Clint grinned, 'guess I tamed the beast.' We walked outside, heading to the vehicles waiting for us.

'So Germany huh? Been awhile since I was there..' I say, sitting next to Tony and Clint. 'Yeah, this is going to be fun then' Tony smirked, looking up from his phone to wink at me. I briefly roll my eyes, he didn't understand to well when it came to my past.

Clint gave Tony a half glare, his efforts at silencing Tony failing. 'I always say, Rogers, you need to face your fears. Take a step into the cold for once, go visit Germany, go on more plane trips, hey you should go visit my friend Rhodey sometime, he will help you with your fear of explosions' Tony made a noise resembling an explosion, and then laughed. I glared at him, sometimes Tony can be a real jerk.

'Hey, tin man, when was the last time you tried facing you fears?' Clint snapped, leaning forward to stare coldly at Tony. 'My fears? I don't have any' Tony exclaimed, looking proud of himself as he went back to using his phone. 'Afghanistan… 'Clint said, and leaned back in his seat. Tony tensed in his seat, he never spoke of what happened in Afghanistan during his kidnapping, so we never asked. I looked out the window, we were heading to the air base, from there we will fly to a SHIELD base in Germany and gather as much information as we could about the enemy.

'Sorry..' Tony whispered, I had to strain my ears to hear him. I turned my head to him, he looked guilty as he tried his best to apologise. I smiled, glad that he had finally realised how hard it was to face your fears. The car came to a stop, we were at the air base and a plane was already waiting for us.

We entered the aircraft, sitting in our designated seats. Tony and Bruce were seated towards the front, discussing science issues and possible gamma radiation spikes. Agent Phil and agent Hill were seated near the back, looking through folders of information and going over prison breakouts in Germany for other possible allies. Clint and Natasha were sitting a few seats behind me, conversing with some other SHIELD agents and going over previous information. I was seated by myself, looking out the window as I watched the engines start up. A small smile came across my face, remembering the time Loki had his first plane trip.

'_Alright, seats 33a and 33b, this is it Loki, you got window side' I smiled warmly at Loki, just as he plonked down into his seat, grumbling about the poor service. I sat down next to him, after putting our carry on luggage in the overhead compartment. It was just us on this side, two seats on each side and three in the middle. Loki loosened his scarf, and unbuttoned his jacket. I looked leaned over him, staring out the window with a smile. 'It has been awhile since I was last on a plane' I whisper, last time I was on a plane I crashed it into the Arctic Ocean. 'They sure have changed a lot' I say, leaning back into my seat and looking around the plane. Loki huffed, still annoyed about having to ride in this aircraft. 'I don't see why we couldn't get Tony to take us there, less… people' Loki glared at a passing child, she was holding her mothers hand and crying rather loudly. _

_I patted Loki on the knee, 'It's only for 3 hours, we can watch a movie, read a book?' Loki rolled his eye, moving his hand to the inside of my thigh, rubbing slowly but firmly. 'I'd rather do more interesting things to pass the time…' He licked his licked his lips, oblivious to the surrounding people who could easily see what he was doing. I pulled my leg away, reaching out to quickly grab his hand. 'Not here, not now, Loki we are in a public area' I whisper, trying to make my discomfort clear to him. Loki rolled his eyes, turning to face the window as he pulled his hand out of my grasp._

_I was nervous, I didn't like winter and I certainly do not like flying. But Pepper had asked me kindly to be there, she wanted me to help look after Tony and keep him out of trouble. How could I say no? Loki was glad, he enjoyed the cold weather, but he didn't like travelling by public transport. I looked over at him, he had a cold glare on his face as he watched the clouds go by in the sky. I chewed my lip slowly, 3 months we had been dating, and those 3 months have been the best and worst times of my life. _

_When I was with Loki I felt like I was walking on air, every breath, every heartbeat, every touch… He didn't know the power he had over me. But he was still Loki, God of Mischief, God of Lies, the man that tried to destroy and take over the world. He wasn't overly loving and trustworthy, more then once we have had fights. Over stupid things like, my gym shorts on the floor or the kind of music I would listen to. The way my jaw would crack when I ate candy or the pile of plates I would leave in the bedroom. The way I folded nothing and the way he folded everything. Little things that would make me storm out to the Gym, or him curl in silence on the couch with a book. _

_Those little things nearly broke us up on more then one occasion, but its what brought us closer. We still had a long way to go in our relationship, sorting out past issues and our future problems. But we worked through our issues, and fell in love more and more. _

_I brush my hand across his cheek, wanting to see his smile instead of that glare. He turned towards me, a small sigh slipping out of his lips before he gives me a small smile, his eyes sparkling in the sun. Ah his eyes, the colour of damp moss. A warm smile spread across my face, staring deeply into those green orbs made my heart flutter. I tore my eyes away from his beautiful face, the flight attendant had begun speaking over the radio. 'Welcome ladies and gentlemen, thank you for choosing Delta Airlines for your choice of travel. We will be making our way to the beautiful city of Vancouver, city of Canada! Don't forget to keep you seat belts tied tight while the seat belt light is on, and please no smoking on the aircraft' the air hostess then began to go through safety procedures, while other flight attendants displayed how to do things. _

_I watched carefully, paying attention to every word that was said and every movement the attendants made. My nails dug into the armrest when the hostess alerted us that we were about to take of. My breath hitched when the plane jolted forward, and the loud noises of the engine made my heart thud in my chest. I felt Loki's hand grip my own, squeezing firmly and pulling it to his lips. He placed a tender kiss on the top of my hand, looking me in the eyes and smiling warmly at me. 'Don't be afraid, I'm right here' he whispered in my ear, giving me a gentle kiss to the cheek. I smile back at him, my body relaxing instantly. _

_Through take of Loki held my hand tightly, my head resting softly on his shoulder, not caring who could see. It was about half an hour into the flight when my hand finally slipped out of Loki's grasp. The flight attendant had come around with out food. I watched as Loki wrinkled his nose, the airplane food wasn't to his liking. 'Just because it isn't how it is on Asgard, doesn't mean you won't like it' I murmur, kissing his cheek before I start eating, I haven't had something to eat since breakfast. Loki gingerly ate his food, although he complained about how dry it was, or that there was too much salt. All I could do was laugh, he really was up tight about this stuff._

_There was a dinging noise, I looked up and noticed the seat belt sign had been turned on. 'The seat belt sign has been turned on, please fasten your seat belts and stay seated. We are about to hit turbulence' the flight hostess voice rang out through the closed space. I tilted my head to the side, 'turbulence?' I say curiously. The plane felt like it jumped in the air, my body shaking as the aircraft shook before settling. I gasped and reached for Loki, blindly searching for his hand only to grip tightly onto his shirt. Loki gave a low chuckle, circling his hand and wrapping his other arm around my shoulders. He pulled me close to him and kissed my cheek. 'It's ok, I'm here. You're safe with me, just breath Stevie' he whispered softly into my hair, kissing my forehead. I inhaled deeply, taking in his sweet scent, then I exhale. My body relaxes and I lean into Loki, my head slipping into the crook of his neck. Loki's hand was tracing intricate patterns on my back, distracting me from the shaking plane. My mind calms and I loosened my grip on his hand, a pang of guilt stabbing into me when I see a bruise already forming on his hand. 'Sorry' I mumble, running my thumb across the bruised area. 'I'm fine' he said, squeezing my hand and laughing softly. I smile, feeling totally at ease until the plane jumps around again. _

_I tense up, memories of my army planes and crashing into the ocean filling my head. I tried taking in deep breaths, but I couldn't calm myself. I could hear babies crying, people near us having conversations, the roaring of the engines, Loki's soft voice singing in my ear…_

_Your eyes so blue_

_Your kisses too_

_I never knew what they could do_

_I can't believe you're in love with me_

_You're telling everyone I know_

_I'm on your mind each place you go_

_They can't believe that you're in love with me_

_I have always placed you far above me_

_I just can't imagine that you love me_

_And after all is said and done_

_To think that I'm the lucky one_

_I can't believe that you're in love with me_

_I closed my eyes, a wide smile spreading across my face. Moments like these I knew, he truly loved me. 'I love you Loki' I whisper, nuzzling my head into his chest, feeling safe in his warm embrace. Loki smiled, 'and I love you' he said, kissing the top of my head. 'Sleep, we will be there shortly' he murmurs, shuffling in his seat to get comfy. My body had already started shutting down, my breath getting deeper as drifted into a calm slumber. _

_My dreams consisted of sunny skies, warm embraces, and soft singing. Loki was a beautiful singer, only on his good days would he sing for me though. _

_My dream was shattered quickly, everything turned dark and Loki slipped from my fingers. I could hear his screams of pain, feel the warm drops of blood. I reached my arms out, tears streaming down my face as I desperately tried to grab hold of him. His screams were loud in my ears, pounding down onto my chest. I screamed out 'RELEASE HIM!' A hand grasped my shoulder, pulling and shaking me. 'LET HIM GO, GIVE GIM BACK!' _

'STOP!' my body thrashed forwards, my scream coming out as a sob. My cheeks were wet from tears, my body shaking limply. 'Hey, buddy, Steve it's ok' Clint was holding my shoulder, his face showing signs of worry and concern. Natasha was right next to him, along with Tony, Bruce, Phil and Maria. I wiped my arm across my face, drying the tears as I jumped up. 'S-sorry, I need a minute' I whisper, walking to the closest bathroom to let my emotions out.

I sat in the restroom for awhile, my head buried in my hands as I sobbed. Loki was being tortured in my nightmare. What did that mean? I shook my head, not wanting to think about it. The thought of someone harming Loki made me cringe, and also made me feel a bloodthirsty anger which I have never had before. He may have left me, may have spent the whole time lying to me about his love. But I still love him, no matter what, I will protect him.


	8. Melting Snow

I stayed in the bathroom until the plane landed, the sharp jolt of hitting earth jumping me out of my daze. I stepped out of the small room, eyes fell upon me as I walked to get my bags and leave the aircraft. Once outside I almost choked, the sudden frosty winds stinging my skin. I bit my tongue, standing next to Clint as we got our luggage and slowly made our way to the base.

'Hey, Steve, you ok?' Clint asked me. We were inside now, it was cold but better then outside. I looked up at him, giving a nod to say yes. 'You sure? You locked yourself inside the restroom for 4 hours' Clint said, claiming the bottom bunk bed next to mine. I started to slowly unpack my things, laying our my clothes and sorting out my bed. 'Just a bad dream, I'm fine' I say, looking up at Clint and giving a wide, fake smile. He sighed, deciding not to push the subject. 'Ok well lets get going, Fury wants you to tell him all you know about Hydra' he said, patting me on the shoulder as he walked past me.

I hang my head, I could hardly think about Hydra let alone talk about them. But I can't refuse an order. I followed Clint, making our way to the room were Fury was waiting. I sat down in front of him, fidgeting with my jacket to keep from looking him in the eye. 'So Rogers, tell me everything you know about Hydra' Fury started, sitting down at his desk. 'I want to know details, what they did, why did they do it, did they achieve anything?' I looked up at him, my lip caught in between my teeth as I clench my jaw. I release my lip, tasting blood in my mouth. 'I know as much as you do sir, I wasn't there at the end of the war. I don't know what happened after I.. was frozen' I say. He sighed, 'well that's a shame, because after you became a human ice cube, all information on Hydra was lost. They buried everything and scattered, and now they have come out of hiding. I want to know who they are working with' Fury groaned, knowing he won't get much more information out of me.

He sent me away, to work with Clint and Natasha. We spent most of that day gathering as much information as we could. Turns out Fury was right, after Red Skull disappeared and I was lost. Hydra lost there courage and surrendered. Destroying all evidence that they were even there.

_Red Skull..._

The thought gave me a headache. The three of us had returned to base, Natasha and Clint had quickly climbed into the shower to clean up, and do other things. I took my time, Red Skull wouldn't leave my mind. What if he was the one that was organising this? Hydra would follow him, and he would build them into the cold hearted army they once were. I shivered, laying down in my bed and attempting to sleep. I closed my eyes, my body slowly giving out. My body relaxed as I wrapped myself in my blanket, there seemed to be a cold draft in this building. My mind began to slip into unconsciousness. Flickers of Loki and his warm embrace filling my mind. I drifted into a deep sleep, smiling wide.

'_I don't love you, I never did you mewling quim' Loki glared down at me, he had just struck me down using his powers. I stared wide eyed up at him, tears beginning to form in the corners of my eyes. 'Loki please.. don't do this! I love you!' I cried out, reaching out to him. He snorted, kicking my hand to the side as he walked away. He stood next to a man, a very familiar man. _

'_R-Red Skull?!' I choke out, staring up at my old enemy. Loki was right next to him, smirking evilly down at me. I stared bewildered at them, Loki? Working with Red Skull? No, I don't believe it… I won't!_

_I stood up, stumbling away from them as I ran. Ran as fast as I could. I didn't want to watch them join together. Didn't want to watch Loki become my enemy again. I looked over my shoulder, unable to stop from looking back at him. What I saw made me stop dead in my tracks. He was on his knees, his arms chained above his head. Blood dripping down from the iron cutting into his wrists. I stared wide eyed as Red Skull dragged a nail across his exposed chest, causing Loki to cry out in pain as blood spilled out of the wound. _

_I couldn't move, watching Red Skull torture Loki in front of me. All I could hear was Loki's cries of pain, my vision locked on the drops of blood leaking out of his countless wounds. Red Skull turned around, a wicked smile spread across his face as he stared at me. 'So I have gotten your attention? Good, now come and get me' the end of that sentence ended in a whisper, Red Skull dove a dagger deep into Loki's chest, twisting it violently and making him scream. _

I shot up in my bed, thankful for not screaming this time. I shook my head, 'just a bad dream, just a bad dream.' I continued saying that, as I quickly got dressed. I headed outside, usually I would shy away from the cold blast of a winter storm. But right now I needed it.

I found a small ledge, sitting down and leaning back. I let out a heavy sigh, my breath coming out in white fogs. 'Hey, couldn't sleep?' a voice broke me from my trance, turning to face Clint. I looked at him, a small smile coming onto my face. 'Nah not realy, you?' I shifted to the side so he could sit next to me. He chuckled, 'Tash is terrible when it comes to sharing a bed, she hogs the blankets.' He smirked at me, elbowing me in the gut. 'Hey remember when we first met?' he shook his head and laughed. 'Yeah I remember, you tried to shoot us out of the sky' I laughed with him, relaxing back against the cold ledge. 'Yeah but in my defence, I was under Loki's control' he said, looking at me with a grin. I smiled, nodding my head. 'Yes, it can be almost impossible to break away from his power' I mumble, weakly smiling.

Clint rolled his eyes, 'god I remember the day you two got it on for the first time, HA Tony was not impressed at all.' I looked at him, shaking my head as I start to laugh. 'Sorry, he was drunk and I couldn't stop him. He can be very persuasive' I say, smiling warmly at him. Clint rested his head back against the snow covered ledge, a grin on his lips. 'Well you did it in his office, on his desk. You should have seen his face when he walked in to get something for Bruce' Clint was laughing loudly now, the memory obviously a huge joy to him. 'I was occupied, and it's his fault for not knocking!' I exclaim, laughing along with him.

Clint nodded his head,, folding his arms behind his head as he stared up at the sky. 'Hey Steve, can I tell you something?' he asked, amusement replaced by seriousness and a touch of worry. I looked at him, 'of course you can, you're my best friend. You can tell me anything' I say, smiling at him. 'I-I think Tash is pregnant' he mumbles, keeping his eyes towards the sky. I held my breath, not sure what to say. 'Uh, sorry?' I say curiously. Clint suddenly looked at me, 'no don't be! I wouldn't say this but, I want a family. A big family, and a family pet, and I want to marry Natasha' he said, sitting up and staring at me.

A smile broke across my face, 'that's great then! Congratulations' I gave him a soft hug. 'I don't know what to do though, how do you look after a kid? How will I be a good father, I mean I'm going to be terrible' he spluttered, running his hands through his hair. I smile at him, looking up at the sky. 'You will be great I'm sure, it comes naturally.'

We lay there in silence, each thinking of different things. Clint was picturing his perfect life, marrying Natasha and having this child, living in a big house, family pet, normal life. He let out a heavy sigh, smiling warmly at the thought. 'Yeah, I think I'm going to like this' he whispers, more to himself then me. I smile at him, glad he was living a great life. My thought were running all over the place, thinking about when I first met Clint, how I thought he was an enemy. A chuckle rose my throat, boy was I wrong. Then my thoughts carried on to the time me and Loki had sex on Tony's work desk. I smiled briefly, that had been fun… And messy.

'_L-Loki? What are you doing' I stammer, Loki had his hands rubbing against my chest as he laid sloppy kisses against my throat. I swallowed deeply, I could smell the bitter scent of alcohol in his breath. He chuckled throatily, his hands sliding down to my nether region. I gulped, my back pressed roughly against a closed door. The handle digs sorely into my lower back as Loki jerked his hips against mine, his arousal pressing into my thigh. 'Loki you're drunk' I say, pushing Loki away at arms length. _

_Loki smirked, licking his lower lip as he looked me up and down. 'But Stevie I'm so horny for you, please just let me fuck you' he asked, his eyes showing full innocence and his lower lips puckering out in a pout. I swallowed again, he was simply alluring looking like that. But this is wrong, two men don't do this! Back in my time if two men did this it was a crime, highly frowned upon. But something about Loki made me re-consider such actions, maybe it was his charm? Or his lying tongue, whatever it was I found him simply irresistible in his drunken manor. _

_I leaned back against the door, my hands releasing him. Loki grins widely, his hands darting out to unlock the door. He pushed me inside, already tugging at my clothes. I walked backwards into the room, my backside hitting a hard desk. I look around, realising we were in Tony's office. 'Shit, Loki, this is Tony's office, we can't be i.. oohhh' I didn't get to finish my sentence. Loki was on his knees, my cock in his mouth. How did he undress me so fast? I looked up quickly, making sure the door was closed. _

_I rocked my head back, moaning as Loki deep throated me. My elbows resting back against the table as I lifted my body to sit on the edge. Loki began working his mouth around my member, his tongue sliding teasingly around it. 'Nngg, Loki, w-we can't do this here' I whisper, but my body says otherwise. My hips buck forward, and a deep growl erupts from my throat. Loki grins around my throbbing cock, his tongue gliding across the underside of it. I moan, looking down into his green eyes, they were dark with lust. _

_Loki pulled away, rising to his feet and shoving me down onto the desk. I felt objects digging into my skin, I wiggled around and heard the sound of several different items falling to the ground. Loki quickly undressed himself, pressing his naked form against mine. I groaned at the contact, my skin feels prickly and hot. I looked up at him, urging him to continue. Loki smiled, pushing my legs apart to get a better view of my body. I have never felt shy about my body until now, watching Loki stare down at me, licking his lips and chuckling. It made me nervous, what do we do now? How do two men have sex? Loki seemed to read my mind, 'same sex relationships are very common on Asgard, in fact my brother had a sexual partner who was a male. That was before he met Jane, but still' Loki grinned down at me, his fingers already slick with his spit as he made his way down to my entrance. My eyes flew open, that's how men do it?! But it's so dirty! I tensed up completely when I felt his index finger begin prodding my hole. Loki slid the finger in slowly, wiggling it around slightly. I gripped the sides of the desk, a soft cry escaping my lips as he slipped in a second finger. I rocked my hips against his hand, feeling his fingers brush against my prostate._

'_Ugh, god Loki!' I moaned, dropping down onto the desk and wrapping my legs tightly around his waist. 'F-fuck me, please' I whimper, biting my bottom lip. Loki smirks deeply down at me. Licking his lips, he removes his fingers and quickly spits into his hand. He slicks his length with saliva and positions himself at my entrance. I cried out loudly when he entered me. Locking my arms above my head, he licked his lips groaning in pleasure. 'Oh Steven' he muttered, licking up my neck as I shivered in lust._

'_Please… move!' I begged, though I knew Loki was only teasing. Soon enough he began to thrust into me with new vigour, his hair slick with sweat as our body's slapped together in deafening pleasure. I could have fought back, his strength was nothing compared to mine, yet I wanted this. I desired to be dominated by the man, both in body and mind_

'_Loki…' I murmured in pleasure, eyes rolling back as I felt him quicken his pace. This wasn't slow, filled with love, this was needy and hot._

_Drunken fuelled and animalistic._

_I enjoyed it._

'_WHAT THE FUCK?!' a loud voice screeched from the doorway. Loki slowed, but didn't stop. He briefly looked over his shoulder, staring at a very red, very angry looking Tony. 'Ah, the man of iron, what brings you to our love making?' Loki asks, a smirk playing across his lips. 'Care to join us?' he asks curiously, finally stoping his slow thrusts. I lay there, wide eyed, trying to push Loki of me. 'I.,. You.. GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY OFFICE!' he yelled, his voice cracking slightly at the end. I sat up abruptly, pushing Loki away as I begin spewing apologies to Tony. _

A hand struck me across my chest, shaking me out of my thoughts once again. I turned to face Clint, secretly thanking the gods that I hadn't gotten too excited from those thoughts. 'Hey Steve? I was thinking, after this whole thing is over, I mean. Once we figure out who the bad guy is this time, defeat him, then go back to waiting around' Clint started, looking around. 'I.. I'm going to ask Natasha to marry me, and I want you to be the best man, I mean if you want to be…' he smiled at me. My eyes lit up, a grin breaking out across my face. 'Of course I would!' I exclaim, patting him on the back. 'Also, if Tash is pregnant, I want you to be the god father' he said, giving me a serious look. I stared at him, smiling warmly. 'Wow… Thanks Clint, that means a lot to me.'

There was a crackly noise, and then a voice rang out through the walkie talkie Clint had brought. 'Rogers, Barton. Inside now' it was Fury. I nodded my head to Clint, we both got up and headed to the base. 'So, don't say anything ok?' he asked, just before we got inside. I smiled at him, placing my arm around his shoulder and hugging him. 'It's our little secret' I whisper in his ear, just as the door closes behind us.


	9. Captain

I walked into the meeting room with Clint by my side, Fury and the others were waiting, all of them looking very tired. I sat down next to Clint like usual, getting ready to hear a bunch of information from Fury. Fury looked directly at me, a combination of anger and uncertainty flowing across his face. 'We have just received a package, it is sent to you Rogers' Fury picked up the package, tossing it to me. I catch it before it can hit the table. I look up at him, he had his arms crossed across his chest, waiting for me to open the mysterious package.

I looked down at it, lifting it up slightly and slipping of the covering materials.

I lowered the small box down onto the desk, pulling out a note from the top. 'It has blood on it' I say, unfolding it and reading out loud.

**Captain, it appears I have something you want, and you have something I need. We can make a deal, come to me and we will settle this once and for all.**

**You know who I am.**

**And you know where I'll be.**

**Better hurry, or else someone is going to get hurt…**

I placed the note down onto the table, a frown crossing my face. 'I have something he needs?' I ask curiously. 'There is something else in the package Steve' Natasha says, she had peered over my shoulder at the box on the table. I reached down and picked up the object. 'Dog tags? Why would he…' my breath hitched in my throat, Steve Rogers was imprinted on the tags. They were mine? The tags were dripping in blood, leaking down onto my hands and dropping onto the table. I was sitting there frozen, staring down at them. My body wouldn't move, I couldn't speak. My tags? He had them, how?! Loki must have given them to him, but why the blood? My brain kept thinking back to my nightmares, Loki screaming in pain, his blood spilling onto the ground, and me being unable to help. No, why would Red Skull want Loki? He wanted me, he would have persuaded Loki into joining him. Loki would tell him anything if it meant he got some power out of it.

Of course Loki gave him these tags, Loki had been wearing them. He always wore my dog tags, ever since I gave them to him…

_I looked down at Loki, he was sleeping peacefully in our large bed, wrapped in warm blankets. I smiled, brushing some hair out of his face. 'Stevie?' he asks softly, his eyes fluttering open as he focuses on me. I smile warmly down at him, 'sorry did I wake you?' I leaned down and kissed his forehead. 'Where are you going?' he asked, sitting up and wrapping his arms around my neck. I nuzzle into his neck, pressing kisses to his throat. 'I have a mission I have to go on, I'll be away for a few weeks' I say, pulling out of his embrace. He pouts, his eyes going watery as he tried to pull me back to bed. 'But you just got back from a mission' he whined, burying his head into my chest. I sigh, ruffling his hair. 'I have to, it's my job, I'll be coming back don't worry' I whisper, kissing his head. Loki looked up at me, a heavy sigh coming past his lips. 'Promise?' he asks, sitting upright. I smiled, kissing his forehead I pulled back from him. 'Promise! Here, take these' I say, pulling my dog tags from my neck, lowering them into his hands. 'I want you to have these, they are very precious to me. The only things I have left that remind me who I once was. Keep them safe, and know that I will always be with you, no matter what' I leaned towards him, capturing his lips in a deep kiss. Loki smiled, locking the tags around his neck as he flopped down onto the bed. 'Ok, hurry back, I'll keep these safe, and don't say such things, you can't die' he murmured, curling himself up into the sheets. _

_I stood at the door, watching as Loki slipped back into a deep slumber. I smiled, the sun catching on the silver tags around his neck. 'Miss you already…' I whisper, stepping outside and closing the door. _

I stared wide eyed down at the tags in my hand, my body starting to tremble. 'I-I know who it is…' I choke out, clenching my fist around the tags. I looked up at Fury, a coldness flickering through my eyes as I rose. 'I know where to go' I snarl, walking past everyone as I headed outside. Everyone followed me, calling out to me trying to make sense of everything. 'Hey Steve, wait up! What's going on? Who is it?' Clint asked, grabbing my arm to slow me. I yanked my arm away from him, already unlocking a vehicle and getting in. 'Sorry Clint, I know who it is, Red Skull' I seethed, gritting my teeth as I turned the engine on.

Clint rushed to the other side and got in, Natasha and Bruce sat in the backseat. 'Tony and Thor will follow us, you sure you know the way?' Natasha asked. I simply nodded my head, my jaw locked as I fought the urge to swear profusely. I slammed my foot down onto the gas, the car rolling forward. My knuckles were turning white, I could feel the steering wheel denting under my tight grip. I stared coldly towards the road, thoughts of Loki working along Red Skull made a dark anger tear out inside me. How could he join him? How **dare **he do that.

'FUCK' I swore loudly, slamming my hand down several times against the wheel as I sped up the gas. No one said anything, no one did anything. I knew exactly where to go, who was going to be waiting for me. I would show up, Loki would be there with Red Skull, waiting for me. I shook the thought out of my head, turning sharply down into a dark alley. It didn't take long for me to find the place. Long forgotten by the German army, but Hydra still remembered. I got out of the car and made my way to the iron door hidden amongst the icy mountain. The others were walking behind me, stepping into the cool lair hiding in the mountains. 'You know where to go from here?' Tony asked, he and Thor had just arrived. I looked at him, nodding my head as I headed into a narrow hallway.

I made my way down the hallway, turning sharply into a corridor. 'He should be in one of these rooms' I say sharply, gripping my shield tightly in my hand as I made my way to the first door. 'How do you know?' Natasha asked, following me. I looked at her, 'I just do' I mutter. I opened the door, nothing, only a few chairs and tabled stacked up along the walls. I growl, slamming the door shut as I turn to the second. Again nothing, and the next, and the next, and the next.

I sighed, resting my head against the last door. 'Maybe I should just give up, what am I looking for? A reason to prove that Loki didn't leave me? That he did love me all this time, and that Red Skull has, for whatever reason, taken him captive?' I sigh, clenching my fist as I step away from the door. 'Stop it! Ok just stop, we are all sick of your whining and complaining. So what he left you? So what he lied the whole time! What did you expect from a relationship with Loki?' Tony snapped, getting frustrated with me. I stared at him, narrowing my eyes slightly before I relax.

_He's right, I need to get my head together… but how?_

'Look we are here for Red Skull, not Loki' Tony muttered, turning to leave the corridor. 'Well might as well check the last door, who knows?' Bruce said, looking at me. I nod my head, turning around and placing my hand on the door. I turned the knob, the door creaking open slowly. As I peered inside my hopes lifted slightly, I heard movement inside the room. The door opened fully, hitting the wall with a dull thunk. I heard the sound of clinking metal, at first I thought it was Tony walking towards me. But it was different, shackles? I took a few steps inside the room, wrinkling my nose as I got a strong whiff of… Blood? Yes definitely blood, and dirt. I heard a muffled noise, sounding like voices. I turned around partially, motioning for the others. They quickly made there way inside, getting there weapons out and awaiting any form of danger. I raised my shield, slowly walking towards the center of the room. A whine broke out through the room, shattering the silence. I froze, frowning slightly as I stood there, trying to determine whether or not to continue forward. The sound of clanking metal return, and at that moment I realised it must be chains. Suddenly a bright light broke out across the roof, I flinched and raised my shield the block it. Looking over my shoulder I stared at Tony, he had found the light switch. 'Ooops' he said, shrugging and grinning. I rolled my eyes at him, getting used to the light. 'Oh… God.. Steve be cool' Clint mumbled, staring directly past me. I raised an eyebrow at him. I saw the others faces, they all looked distressed or upset in some way.

I turned back around, looking towards the middle of the room. My stomach dropped, my heart wouldn't beat, the breath stopped coming out of my lungs.

Chained up in front of me was Loki. Forced to his knees, his arms chained above him with blood dripping down from the iron digging into his wrists. I stared wide eyed, my mouth gaping open like a fish out of water. Loki lifted his head, he had cuts and bruises all over him. His exposed chest had several marks where someone had dug into him. He looked at me with wide eyes, hope rushing into his face as the corner of his lips curled into a weak smile. I stayed there frozen, unable to move. I heard movement behind me, I could hear the others attacking someone. I didn't turn around, I couldn't, I kept staring at Loki as he wiggled slightly.

'Steve! Get your head together, we could use your help right now' a strangled voice came from behind, I think it belonged to Bruce, no not Bruce he would be Hulk right now… Maybe Clint? I finally moved but not to help, I moved forward to Loki. My hands reaching out as I dropped in front of him, collapsing onto my knees. I stroked his face, my fingers running across his dry, cracked lips. I slid my hand into his hair, getting caught on knots. I stared deep into his eyes, I rest my forehead against his. 'I.. I'm so sorry' I whisper, a tear dripping down my cheek as I kissed him. I reached above him, my hands fumbling to undo the chains keeping him in place. Loki stared at me, watching my close movements with such intensity, he didn't say anything though.

There was a soft noise coming from behind Loki, I didn't pay any attention to it though. I could hear the fight behind me, but my only focus was to Loki. I stared darkly up at the locks, I needed a key to get them of. I lowered my eyes down to Loki, his head drooping down. I cupped his cheek, rubbing my thumb across the pale skin. He was cold, very cold. A grimace spread across my face as I took note of just the amount of wounds he had. He looked like he had been used as a personal body bag trainer for police dogs. His body was tattered with rips and cuts and gashes. I gulped when I saw a deep cut in his thigh, looked to be from a blade. I placed my hands on his arms, leaning back to stare at him. He looked like hell, his lids half closed, lips turned down, skin pale white and icy cold.

My ears kept picking up soft ticking sounds, even with the loud fighting behind me. I looked around, trying to find the source. I scanned the room, something feeling suddenly very off. I looked over my shoulder at the others, they were going against 7 or 8 Hydra soldiers. I turned back to Loki, he had lifted his head again and was looking at me. I smiled down at him, brushing some hair out of his eyes. 'Stevie…' he croaked, his voice hoarse and dry as he coughed violently. Blood splattered against my shirt, Loki's coughing stilled and he looked back at me. 'You came for me' he spluttered, blood dribbling out of the corner of his mouth. I grimaced, seeing him like this both angered and pained me. 'Of course I came for you, you're my whole world Loki. I would relive my past and get frozen in the ocean again if it kept you safe' I say, kissing his lips once more. The ticking noise seemed to get louder in my ears, sounding more and more unsettling by the second. I took a quick glance around, still seeing nothing.

'My love, my world..' Loki whispered, nuzzling his nose gently against my cheek as he smiled weakly.

I stared deep into his eyes, kissing him fully as I wrap my arms gently around him. The ticking noise stopped, much to my relief… or so I thought. In that split second the room exploded, fire lashing out from the walls and dust and dirt flying through the air. Before I had time to react my world went black, staring right into the eyes of my love, Loki.

'My captain…' Loki mumbled, blacking out as the explosion reached him.


	10. The Beginning of the End

**((Loki's POV))**

I felt him move in the bed next to me, 'wow it's 3:00 pm already?' his voice asked as he pulled himself out of our warm embrace. I opened my eyes up, lifting my head up to look at Steve. 'Mmm Stevie?' He smiled warmly down at me, 'sorry, didn't mean to wake you up. It seems I'm needed by Tony.' He leaned down and pressed his lips to my forehead. 'Ok, guess they decided to let you in on the mission' I say, sitting upright. Steve gave me a soft smile, picking up his clothes as he dressed himself.

'How about you go clean up, I'll meet you down at the conference room ok?' he said, opening up the door to leave. I got out of the bed, smiling warmly at Steve as I nod my head. I walked into the bathroom, closing the door firmly behind me as Steve left the room. I stepped into the shower, turning the taps and relishing the feeling of the warm waves washing over my skin. I scrubbed my skin clean of our morning activities, letting the soapy bubbles run down my form.

After a few minutes of gentle cleaning, I turned the taps of and stepped out of the shower. Grabbing a towel to dry myself of, I made my way back into the bedroom. "Odd, I could have sworn Steve closed the door" I mumble as I notice the partially open door. I creep over to it, poking my head outside quickly to make sure I hadn't had any visitors, I pull back inside the room and close the door behind me, dropping the wet towel to the ground as I begin to dress myself. I chose a casual outfit, warm turtle neck and comfy jeans.

I flinched as I felt a cold breeze fan across my back. I peeked over my shoulder to find the source of coldness, turning directly towards the window suspecting it to be opened. A gloved hand clamped itself around my mouth and a strong arm wrapped tightly around my throat, pulling me against a hard chest and gagging me tightly. I choked on the small amount of air left in my lungs, instantly grabbing hold of the tight embrace around my throat. "now now little prince, wouldn't want to break anything would we?" a voice growled in my ear. My hands were bound behind me and a blindfold secured across my eyes. I felt strong hands grip my body and drag me away. My only thought was that this was the end, I was going to get killed and never see Steve again.

_No, please Steve find me, anyone, I don't want to die yet.._

I heard the shuffling of feet and the slamming of doors as I got thrown into a vehicle. Several men laughed, and they spoke in a language I couldn't understand. A hand grabbed onto my hair and pulled my head upright. "Puny thing isn't he?! He wont last after the master has been through with him" a voice spat in my ear, which elicited several deep laughs from the other men. I clenched my jaw and stayed still, no point in attempting to pull away when you are at there every mercy. I flinched inwardly as I was thrown against the hard ground of the vehicle, slamming against a wall as the engine jumped into action and began roaring with energy.

My mind kept escaping itself, thinking about the various ways I could be killed, why these men wanted me? Is there a connection to one of the avengers that links me to them? I stayed in my curled position, biting down onto my cheek until I tasted blood. _Please let Stevie find me… I don't want it to end just yet… _For the first time in my life I panicked completely, scared for my life and scared for my loved ones.. For Steve... What if Steve has been taken also? What if all the avengers are tied up inside a vehicle driving alongside this one?

_If you pigs have injured my Steve in anyway, in Odin's name I will slit your throats and laugh as you bleed out at my feet. Your hearts will be ripped out by my cold blooded fingers, your lungs punctured, and your minds kept alive so you can live through to torture and devastation I will put you through…_

My nostrils flare and I clench my fists, the sudden thought of Steve being in any form of pain sending heat waves of pure anger to swarm over me. I tried to disable my thoughts, concentrating on figuring out where I was being taken. The only clues I had was the smell of fuel pouring in through an open window, A .. plane taking of? And some minor words I picked up from the men. They spoke of Germany, Red Skulls and the captain.

I gritted my teeth as soon as I heard the word 'Captain' how dare they even think about hurting him? Or even taking him away, made my blood boil.

I again attempted to close my thoughts, but now all I could think about was the safety of my lover. _I hope he is alright.. _I worried my bottom lip, if only brother could see me now. Chewing my lip, holding my breath, knuckles turning white and body curling up. He would laugh and call me weak, he didn't know the feelings I hid for Steve. No one does, not even Steven. But oh how I loved him, the way he would wake up in the morning to the way he would fall asleep at night. Always hugging me tightly as he pulled himself out of bed. The way his lips would curl up when he was hiding a secret from me, and his twinkling eyes daring me to guess. The way his body would slump heavily into the couch after a long day at work, cooing me over to have a deep snuggle session. His soft blonde hair, warm blue eyes, gentle touch, deep voice… _My Stevie… my beautiful, loving Stevie… _

I began to shake, unable to stop the depression settling in. I blacked out shortly after, my body giving out as I surrendered to the darkness.


	11. Could it be True?

**((Loki's POV))**

I awoke feeling cold and sweaty, my hands now bound above my head and a gag tightly around my mouth. I slowly blinked open my eyes, the blindfold gone so I could now look at my surroundings. I was in a damp, dark place. Chains hung from the ceiling, windows covered with newspaper, and the floor was cracked and dirty. I moved around, trying to see if there were others in the room with me. I could hear shuffling behind me, clinking of metals, soft breathes. I squeezed my eyes shut, staying as still as I could as the other body moved to stand in front of me.

"Now, little god… No point pretending, I need you awake and alert for the next procedure" a deep voice broke out through the silent room.

I tired to swallow my nerves as my heart began to beat. I opened my eyes to stare at the tall figure in front of me. He wore a dark coat, buttoned at the front, black gloves and large boots. The most noticeable thing about him though was his face, completely covered in a red substance. I locked my jaw and stared coldly up at him. "They call me Red Skull, but you can call me master" he hissed down at me, stepping forward and crouching in front of me. I snorted, rolling my eyes up at him as I look around, seemingly un-bothered by his presence.

He reached out and grabbed my jaw, jerking my face forward to meet his gaze. "Listen here mutt, you will obey me and follow my every order. Or else you will go through unbearable pain, and your precious Steve? Ill slaughter him right before your eyes" he struck me across the cheek, making my head spin when the back of his glove covered hand cracked onto my numb skin. I sucked in a deep breath through my nose, giving an icy glare to the man in front of me. "Now, you will tell me all that I ask for, or else" he raised his hand again to emphasize his statement.

The gag across my mouth was released, and I instantly licked my dry, cracked lips. Red skull rose from the ground and glared coldly down at me, his hand flexing as he re adjusted his glove.

"Now little prince, tell me, where is the captain?" he stared down at me, awaiting an answer. I raised a slender eyebrow at him, looking him over. "I believe you are the first midgardian to actually acknowledge my royalties. Bravo to you" I smiled smugly. "I would give you a clap, but it seems I'm a bit… tied up at the moment." Red Skull snarled, pressing his boot firmly to my throat, "Don't change the subject kid, answer me"

I coughed slightly, the pressure to my throat causing me to choke. "captain could mean various amounts of people, captain crunch is on a cereal. The captain of the SS Titanic is at the bottom of the ocean. Do be specific in your questioning." He removed his foot, only to slam it back down onto my chest. I grimaced and coughed, hearing the sound of broken ribs beneath his boot. "Smug bastard aren't you? No wonder daddy didn't love you, you're a freak, a monster. No one loves you.. no one cares that your gone.. not even your beloved captain" he grinned wickedly, lifting his foot away from my chest and standing upright. "Now tell me where he is"

The blow to my chest caused me to lose my breath, so I simply shifted. I knew that the man would probably not know of my Jotun form, that my cool blue skin would freeze him on contact, burn him deep through his body causing him pain. "come closer" I wheeze. Red Skull cocked his head to the side, a defiant grin taking form on his lips. He leant closer to me, coming down to my level. "What? Cat got your tongue?" he spat, reaching out with a gloved hand to hold my jaw. "Voice to broken to reach my ears?" I gritted my jaw, twisting my body so my blue hand grazed the flesh of his face. "Just let me touch you" I hiss, hoping the freeze would cause him enough pain to stop the questioning, just for a little. He jerked his head back and hissed, a black mark spreading across his cheek from frost bite. "You little brat! You will regret ever doing that!" he stook up and walked towards a small tray of what seemed to be medical equipment. I watched as his fingers skimmed across the various sharp blades and twisted hooks. Finally he stopped, picking up a rusty looking hook. "Don't worry, this is going to hurt you much more then it will hurt me" he growled, walking towards me and crouching down. "now, before I do this, will you answer my question? Or will I have to be more persuasive?"

I slowly faded back into my normal form, looking up into his red face. "I… I…" I blinked softly. "I'll have to get back to you, you see.. I don't particularly enjoy talking to peasants. Give me a little to stomach my bile.  
" A smile crept across his face. "Good, I wanted to hear you scream from the very start" his hand shot forward, sliding the rusty hook into my shoulder and tugging sharply, causing skin and flesh to be ripped apart and blood to begin spilling from the mild wound. I bit back a whimper of pain, my eyes gazing over the mans twisted smile. _No I wont give him the satisfaction. _"Ah, see that's where you're wrong. I never scream."

Red Skull dug the hook deeper into my shoulder, twisting it and pulling every so often. "Well could have fooled me, all that horse play and loud noises with your Steve… sounded like screaming to me" he leaned in to me, smirking when he noticed the pained look in my eyes. "I was there the whole time, you're disgusting."

I growled at the pain, but mostly it was for the comment about Steve. Luckily I don't think he knew that Steve was captain America. "I'm sorry, next time we'll put on a better show." I grinned. "heh, don't worry little whore, there won't be a next time" he pulled the hook out and threw it on the ground. "But if you are truly desperate, I'm sure my men are missing there midnight plays with there wives" he stuck his thumb into the hole on my shoulder, pressing firmly and roughly.

The pain in my shoulder was growing worse, driving a hiss of pain from me. my eyes began to water as I shot a sneer up at the man. "You think they would be able to touch me? You saw what my hands could do to you, imagine what the rest of me can…" I grinned, though it would be fun to have their dirty cocks frozen off. He pulled away from me, wiping his bloody hand on his jacket. "Well I don't think you will be able to focus on your magic after I'm through with you" he spat, walking back towards the tray and choosing a bigger blade. "Now tell me before this gets messy… where is the captain?" I glared up at him, "IN THE ICE" I snarl. "Where you left him, with the Tesseract." I watched the man's movement stutter. "Yes I know of it, you thought you could harness its powers? Well I did. I succeeded where you failed. Doesn't that URK you?" a smirk played itself across my lips.

He chuckled, briefly shaking his head as he stood before me. "Ah but you see, I was there when you lead an attack against this planet.. I know the captain is alive and has been out of the ocean for sometime now.. don't lie to me" he stabbed the scalpel deep into my injured shoulder, digging around until the sound of metal scraping bones was heard.

I bit back a moan, swallowing hard as I felt my body grow fain from the pain. "If you were watching, then you know he is not alone." I hiss, trying to fight the darkness creeping in around me. Red Skull slowly drew the blade out of me, bringing it up to my cheek and flicking it, causing a long streak of blood to spill out. "Yes, but you seem to have connections.. you are a trickster are you not? You can draw him out of hiding, bring him to me.. and I shall award you." I let out and airy laugh. "Ah, and now the cards are turned. You believe me to have connections with them? You are obviously as daft as you look. I am the villain. No one cares about me. you're wasting my time and yours. You should have kidnapped someone of greater importance." I smiled, though I felt a pang of truth in my words. He tilted his head to the side, watching me closely. "You are a god? Surely you have some power over them.." a wicked grin spread across his face. "I found it difficult to capture your brother, Thor, he resisted greatly.. so I had to settle or you" he paused, scanning me over. "I'm sure you are used to it.. Getting chosen merely because your big brother wasn't available.." I glared up at him. "He is not my brother, you are mistaken" I say coldly. "Can you not see the difference? He is of Asgard, I am of Jotunheim. They are two different Realms. We are not the same BREED" I was digging myself farther into my own despair, but it was better to wallow in sorrow then give up on my beloved Steven.

Red Skull chuckled deeply. "It seems I have made the wrong choice, you are of no value to any of those pathetic creatures. Worthless, unloved, I should kill you now to end your suffering" he traced the edge of the blade along my skin, causing small slits in my pale skin. "I am worth something to Steven" I say simply "but he is not important to you. You wish for Captain America. Hero of Migard" I chuckled, silently apologizing. "That worthless idle, the man lost in time. Soldier for good. Pathetic, narrow minded. Weak." I chewed on my tongue, choking on the last words as I glared coldly up at Red Skull.

"Perhaps… or maybe you harbour feelings for the soldier? You speak coldly of him, yet your eyes say otherwise" he dug the scalpel into my chest, just above my heart. I swallowed hard, "Perhaps I harbour a desire for him, yes. But he does not know me. he does not care for me" I spat, looking down at the knife. Each word hurt more then the blunt blade, I would tell Steven exactly how much I loved him when I escaped.

The man leaned forward, inhaling my scent. He chuckled deeply as he ran a thumb across the cut on my cheek. "Poor, sweet Loki… no one loves you… no one will ever love you. and that Steven? Pathetic creature, he will move on as soon as he finds out you are gone" he tilted his head to the side, looking me in the eyes. "If you cooperate with me now, I can show you what its like to be wanted." I gagged, "I would rather be alone then with you" I say softly, batting my eyes. "But… if you have a crush on me, feel free to tell" I smiled. "I'll let you love me in your dreams…"

He snarled, striking me across the face with the back of his hand. "Worthless mongrel" he spat, thrusting the blade deep into my gut and moving away from me. he walked back towards to tray, taking a handful of different blades and throwing them to the ground next to me. "Answer my question or I will slaughter you! and not fast and quick like a cow, slow and painful.. I want to watch your body break under the ongoing pain"

"DO IT!" I spat, blood creeping up into my mouth as I noticed the taste and colour. "Kill me then! I have a silver tongue, but it will not slip secrets into your ears. KILL ME." I threatened, knowing a man like this would never do as the prisoner asked. "I have no reason to live, as you say. So why waste air?" he chuckled, "No.. that would be too easy.. I'm going to make you break, you will answer me Loki" he slowly dragged a sharp blade across my thigh, a twisted smile coming across his lips as he watched blood soak into my pants. "But for now.. why don't we have a little fun? I'd love to see how much your mortal body can handle" he dove the blade into my calf, and followed that with another hook tearing at my waist.

My screams broke that time, my head falling back and I moaned and shivered. _Steve. Think of Steve._ I thought frantically, opening my mouth to whisper quietly. "Steve. Steve. Steve. Steve." I swallowed, Steve's blue eyes dancing behind my lids like a saving light. The man threw his head back and laughed like a madman. He grabbed a hold of my hair and forced me to look at him. "Feel that? Can you feel the knife slicing into you?" he jiggled the blades around, emphasizing his sentence. "why don't you give in? let your body collapse and crumble.. but before you fall into darkness, I'll be here, reviving you, and doing it all over again."

I closed my eyes, not looking into the cold lifeless eyes and thinking only of Steve and the beauty of him.

"What are you thinking about? That so called 'Loved one'? Steve.. heh.. he is a pathetic male mortal. His only drive is sex. He will move on, forget all about you, and carry on having meaningless sex with several other people." He yanked the hook upwards, dragging flesh along. "you think he cares? If he truly cared he would have alerted the others of my presence." He chuckled lowly. "that's right, he knows where you are, my men weren't fast enough and they were caught by your hopeless lover. He merely pretended that he hadn't seen anything, walked the other way." He leaned into my ear. "he doesn't love you, he doesn't care, you are dead to him."

I narrowed my eyes, _Steve knew? He.. he was formulating a plan. He always had a plan for everything. He would never let me down. Never had never will. _"Congratulations, you just convinced me he will come soon." He grinned. "Oh is that so? Well explain to me why he gave my men this, he said he had no use for it.." he pulled a pendant out of his pocket, raising it up so I could look at it fully. I felt my stomach drop, it was the pendant I had given Steve in the early weeks of our relationship, to protect him from Jotun magic and to symbolise my love. "He called it a pathetic idea for expressing love…" Red Skull sneered.

My heart stopped. "Y-You stole that from him" I say softly, looking him up. "You… you liar!" I bit my tongue and forced the tears to stay hidden. The thought of Steven saying those things ripped my heart to shreds. He shook his head, dropping the pendant to the ground and returning to a blade sticking out of my hip. "No I am no liar, a villain yes. Murderer, god, ruler, nightmare.. all those things. But I am no liar" he chuckled, "you seem shocked, surely you didn't think he loved you?" I licked my lips once more, looking down at the ground. "He loves me." I say stiffly, looking at the charm as I felt my heart slowly sink to the bottom of my chest. "Loves me, for me…"

Red Skull laughed. "Loves you? for you? HA now why would anyone love you, you're a blue skinned freak!" he snorted, slamming a clenched fist onto the charm, shattering it in the process. I let out a shattered sob, looking down at the charm. I had made it, with my own two hands, carved and beaded, blown the glass… for Steven.. For love…

"Now, tell me… where is Captain America?" Red Skull raised his hand and dug into the wound on my shoulder.

"I DON'T KNOW" I screamed, tears rolling down my face as I whimper. "I don't even know who he IS" at this point, I didn't.

_Is it all true? Does Steve truly not love me anymore? Did he ever love me? Perhaps it was all a trick to get me to behave…. _

He growled. "Now don't have a break down just yet. If you can not tell me where he is.. then tell me who he is with. Surely even the captain has managed to find himself a lover" he moved his thumb inside my wound, gripping tightly to my shoulder until the sound of breaking bones was heard. I groaned, feeling the pain and closing my eyes. "He.. he's with…" I couldn't think, my eyes closing in pain as sob wracked my chest. "Hawkeye."

"Hawkeye? That man with the arrows…" he chortled "it looked like he was having a merry time defiling that red headed woman… I would have thought he would choose a female lover. Given the time of his birth."

I groaned, the pain subsiding quickly. "the red head is more into women" he corrected, licking his lips as the lies piled. Red Skull ticked his head to the side, grinning. "it just keeps getting more interesting. Ok tell me, does the captain feel strongly towards this uh.. Hawkeye? Perhaps I should kidnap him, he captain will come running," I smiled inside, if he did manage to capture Clint, Natasha would have his ass. Because… they loved each other… he swallowed. "I'm not sure."

"Is there anyone the captain feels strongly towards? Perhaps someone he takes orders from? What about that peggy, the one he was so madly in love with."

"She's dead" I smiled, licking my lips. "I was present at the funeral, he sobbed so hard." He grinned slightly, though his heart was cracking into a million pieces.

"Dead? A pity.. she would have been old and frail.. the captain would be beating down the door by now to rescue his true love. But I suppose this Hawkeye will have to do" he released my shoulder. "even if he only has a crush on him, he is still a male.. and men have desires" he chuckled deeply.

I nodded, looking down at the shattered charm. "Then you have no use for me." I say, swallowing. I hope the man would let me go, beaten, bloody, just so I could lick my wounds in shame and never return to Avengers Tower.

"Oh no no no… the fun has only begun! I have many more questions that still need answers… besides, I love watching you squirm when I mention the captains love life. You must truly desire him" he snorted, pulling out the remaining blades sticking into me. "Pathetic."

I let my head fall back, pain on my lips as I whimper. "I.. I do not love the Captain. I do not desire him. I do… I.. IWANT HIM" I shiver, biting my lips as tears fell from my face. "I love him, I want him.." I began to babble, my heart shattering into a thousand pieces with every breath.

"Ah and so the truth comes spilling out… it's a shame that he will never love you back" he slowly dragged a rusty nail across my chest. I bit back a cry and arched away from the touch. "You are the enemy in his eyes, I'm surprised he hasn't ended your life sooner.."

I groaned, gripping the binds and biting my lips it they bled. "Never.." I whisper. _He loved me… right?_ _he loved him.. he cared for him, he.._"Steven…" I whispered, gripping the bonds tighter.

"Oh and don't worry about Steven.. I left a note declaring your undying hatred for him.. so he won't have to awkwardly explain how he never loved you" he dug a blade into my abdomen, smiling wickedly as blood poured out.

That was the final straw for me. I let out a lament, form shifting to Jotun as I screamed in rage. Had I had my powers, the man would be dead, hanging from the ceiling by the ugly tie. But he was helpless, powerless, alone.

Red Skull smiled, pleased with my outburst. "So, now that you are sure there is no one to go back to… will you be a good boy and answer my questions?"

I shifted, looking up with red-blooded eyes of a Jotun. "Never." I spat in the man's face, growl rising deep in my throat. "It does not matter, for I will keep my oath of love."

He roared with laughter. "Are you really that daft?! Have you not heard me? HE DOESN'T LOVE YOU! YOU ARE WASTING YOUR BREATH. Why not give in? work as my partner… I can give you power"

I growled, "I DON'T want power." I hiss, licking my lips and rolling my head back. "I want him." I whispered. "I want him: nothing else" I swallowed hard, looking down and feeling the pain rise to my throat.

Red Skull scoffed, "you have grown weak from human life.. and I thought you were a god, my mistake" he stepped away from my form, leaving me to bleed out. "I'll be back tonight, perhaps you may change your mind and reconsider which side you stand on."

I felt my body slowly drip blood, eyes closing as I took shallow breaths.

_You are a god! So beautiful, so talented… my love, my little Loki…_

I felt tears slide down. Lies? Was it really all lies? I couldn't let myself believe that yet… he was worthless, terrified of being alone. Steve would never leave him…

_Right….?_


	12. Allow Me This Happiness

((Loki's POV))

The door opened up, I wearily lifted my head to see who walked in. "My little prince, have you come to your senses yet and chosen the right side?" Red Skull walked in, carrying a new set of weapons, guns, swords, and what looked like a taser.

I looked up, my eyes weary. The bright green had faded as I sighed. "I shall never join your side. Sorry to disappoint. I know you were looking forward to me."

"Well perhaps I should be kind to you. your loving Steve? Well he was with Hawkeye, I guess that Hawkeye is a little loose…" he walked towards me, throwing some pictures onto the ground. "A spy of mine was watching them, and took some photos for proof." I stared down at them, he was right. Clint and Steve sat on a snowy edge, hugging, smiling, laughing.. _Steve had moved on… _I wasn't important, I had just been a simple place marker. I sighed, looking away from the pictures, unable to stare any longer. "No.. These are lies. Tricks…" But I knew in my heart it was true.

"Hmmm, yes so you see there is nothing for you with him. Now, tell me all you know about the captain" he pulled me up, securing my hands above my head. "His weakness, what makes him freeze… I want to know everything."

I took a deep breath, looking up at him with serious eyes. "Grapefruit." I say seriously.

Red skull paused, frowning down at me. "Grapefruit…?" he mumbles, obviously confused. "What?" he asked.

I took another breath, licking my lips and nodding. "Indeed. A subtropical citrus fruit known for its bitter to semi-sweet fruit, an 18th-century hybrid first bred in Barbodos. When found, it was named the 'forbidden fruit' and it has been misidentified with the pomelo or shaddock, one of the parents of this hybrid, the other being sweet orange. Grapefruit, also, known as 'Chakotra' In Hindi. This is captain's weakness."

I blinked up at him, what I had said was true, completely and utterly true. I just hadn't told him everything. That was a word that made Captain freeze up, not because of an allergy he had towards it. No, you see when we first started to have sexual relations, Steve found the need to get a 'safe-word' and after going over several different words, grapefruit seemed the most appropriate. Being called the 'Forbidden fruit' sounded perfect for our situation. Then after we began to get serious, we had another conversation. After Steve had been taken captive by an enemy and I went through the panic of losing him. We chose a word that we were familiar with, to let the other know we were ok, that we were coming back, and not to worry. Hopefully Red Skull would tell Steve the G word… perhaps he would be reminded of our times together?

"Is that so… the word or the actual fruit?" Red Skull asked curiously, crouching in front of me and lifting a knife to my throat. "Tell me every little detail." I looked up at him, "the fruit of course. Would you like to know more of the fruit?" I licked my lips, looking at him with an evil grin. I would tell him everything he wanted to know. He lowered the knife from my throat, looking me in the eye. "Yes tell me, I want to know anything and everything."

I nodded, smiling a little as I spoke in rapid sentences.

"One ancestor of the grapefruit was the Jamaican sweet orange (Citrus sinensis), itself an ancient hybrid of Asian origin; the other was the Indonesian pomelo (C. maxima). One story of the fruit's origins is that a certain "Captain Shaddock" brought pomelo seeds to Jamaica and bred the first fruit. However, it probably originated as a naturally occurring hybrid. The naturalist wrote this about it: The Trunk, Leaves, and Flowers of this Tree, very much resemble those of the Orange-tree. The Fruit, when ripe, is something longer and larger than the largest Orange; and exceeds, in the Delicacy of its Taste, the Fruit of every Tree in this or any of our neighbouring Islands. It hath somewhat of the Taste of a Shaddock; but far exceeds that, as well as the best Orange, in its delicious Taste and Flavour." I cleared my throat and smile up at Red Skull, noting his confused/angered look.

"I don't want to know about the fruits history, tell me what it has to do with the Captain!" he dove the knife deep into my upper leg, creating a deep cut.

"Ah!" I hiss, looking him at him in anger. "I told you! it will counteract the serum coursing through his veins. He is to remain PURE it is a Forbidden fruit! Do you not see? If you corrupt him, he will no longer be 'Captain America' he will resemble that of yourself." I spat.

"Forbidden fruit? He will return to his lesser mortal form?" I slowly pulled the knife out of his legs, but left the tip in. "Tell me more about the captain…" he hissed, digging a small dagger into my rib cage.

Loki let out a small whimper, looking up at him, I slipped into his 'bitch mode' and snarled. "He is a virgin. It is yet another thing he must do to remain PURE. He cannot be killed except in his mortal form. And if you strike his heel he will fall, as the great Achilles." I gritted my teeth, fighting against a smile at the thought of Steve being a virgin.

_The amount of times I have defiled him…_

"A virgin? You mean he hasn't slept with that Hawkeye? Odd, guess he has turned to your Steve for comfort…" he chuckled, slowly circling the dagger around. "Anything else? perhaps of his friends? Any of there weaknesses I should know about?"

I lifted my head up, smirking. "Hawkeye is blind." I say, feeding him false information. "He uses sensors to shoot his arros. I should know, I took control of him like a good hawk." I chuckled, though I felt sick. Steve and Clint were… I wonder if Natasha knew about this.

"Blind? Interesting.. more, tell me more.." he hissed, diving the blade deeper into my gut, and kneeling onto my leg wound.

"Iron man is really a woman." I hiss, clenching my jaw as pain stung throughout my body. "He had a sex change when he was 12." I tried to think of things. "Thor is pregnant and Black Widow is really a double agent for S.W.O.R.D." I looked him in the eye, my face showing no signs of trickery.

"What an odd grouping…" he grinned, pulling the dagger out and tossing it to the side. "It's a shame, though, I like you" he rose to his feet and picked up the weapons, packing them up in a neat box. "but it seems your time is up… I no longer need you. Not with my new found information. I shall destroy Captain America and his puny friends…" he raised his hand, holding a remote. "It's set for an hour, then sit back, relax, and wait for the fireworks."

I swallowed, looking at my death straight on. "Will you at least allow me to spend my last moments untied and in the cage? I wish to spend my final hour reflecting." I stared with big eyes at the man, silently begging for this last amount of sympathy.

He looked down at me from the door, a wicked grin on his lips. "No" he said, smiling at me as he flicked the light of and shut the door, leaving me in the darkness.

I sat there in the darkness, the silence seeming to echo around me. The only sound I could hear was the dripping of my blood, landing on the cold floor beneath me. I kept thinking about Steve, did he truly feel that way about me? What if he was with Clint, what if he truly felt nothing for me and was only with me for the sex?

"No, he loves me… he does.." I shudder, my body feeling cold as I felt faint headed. I gritted my teeth and began to sob quietly, tugging lightly against the chains holding my hands. I dropped my head forward, "he loved me, he loves me… he does" I snapped my head up. "YOU'RE LYING!" I screamed, pulling against my bounds. I began to thrash, yelling out words in ancient Asgardian.

I didn't know how long I cried for, I stopped yelling long before the tears stopped. My throat hoarse, cracked from the constant screaming. My head sagged down and I gave up. "Just let it be over… Kill me already" I whisper, causing me to cough heavily, adding more blood to the pool at my feet.

My skin was numb from blood loss, my head was spinning, but I didn't care. I just wanted it to be over. My eyes fluttered close as I finally slipped into unconsciousness. Memories of Steve and his beautiful blue eyes flooding my mind.

* * *

"Might as well check the last door, who knows?" a muffled voice woke me from my dwelling slumber, dragging me back to the living. I heard the sound of the rusted door opening, a crack of light pouring in. I heard some shuffled footsteps, and muttered comments. _Red Skull must have sent his monkeys to finish me of quicker, guess he is impatient.._

I shifted in my place, attempting to speak up but my voice getting caught in my throat. _To much screaming… _I attempted to move again, causing my binds to clank together. I pulled lightly on them, digging into my skin as I whined loudly, breaking the silence. The footsteps stopped, and suddenly there was an explosion of light, I flinched and shut my eyes as the light above me turned on suddenly. There was a deep chuckling, "Ooops." I knew that voice, but who? "Oh.. God.. Steve be cool" a voice said._ Steve? That was Clint to, which could only mean…_

I lifted my head up, and standing before me was Steve, his mouth hanging open like a fish out of water. Hope washed across my face as the corners of my lips curled into a weak smile. He came for me? The others were with him, standing behind looking just as surprised as Steve. I didn't have time to react before everything began to jump into action, several different Hydra soldiers rushed into the room, getting caught of by the others. Steve stood there quiet for a few moments, "Steve! Get your head together, we could use your help right now" Clint called out to Steve, attempting to snap him from his daze.

It worked, Steve rushed forwards, his hands reaching out as he dropped in front of me., collapsing to his knees. He stroked my face, his fingers running along my dry, cracked lips. His hand slipped into my hair, catching on knots. Steve looked me deep in the eyes, resting his forehead against mine. "I.. I'm so sorry" he whispered, a tear dripping down his cheek as he kissed me.

I almost passed out, how long had it been since I have felt his full lips against my own? His hands reached above me to grab hold of the binds holding me tight. I watched his movements closely, trying to decide if he was being honest or if this was a simple scam.

Steve's expression changed from worried and frantic, to dark and deadly as he glared up at the chains binding me tight, Red Skull had taken the key with him…

He looked down at me, just as I drooped my head again, unable to gather the strength to hold my body up. Steve's large hand cupped my cheek, rubbing his thumb across the pale skin. I noted the grimace that spread across his face.

_He is disgusted of me?... of course… I am nothing to him…_

I looked up at him, just as he smiled softly and brushed some hair out of my eyes. "Stevie…" I croak, my voice hoarse and dry as I cough violently. Blood splattered against his blue and white suite. My coughing stilled and I looked back at him. "You came for me?" I asked, tasting blood in my mouth. He grimaced yet again, surely this must be hard for him to bear… Then he did it, he said something that both overjoyed me and broke my heart at the same time, because I knew he was lying.

"Of course I came for you, you're my whole world Loki. I would relive my past and get frozen in the ocean again if it kept you safe" he kissed me once more, a longer kiss that left my broken heart beating fast.

I chewed my lip, trying not to reply. But how could I not? I still loved him so much, even if he didn't…

"My love, my world.." I whisper, nuzzling my nose gently against his cheek as I smile weakly.

_Please just allow me this moment of happiness before my world comes crashing down, allow him to be mine for these short seconds so my hopeful heart can beat happy through my last breaths on this land…_

He stared deeply into my eyes, kissing me firmly as he wraps his arms gently around me. my head started spinning, feeling his strong arms around me and his warm lips pressed so firmly against my own.

_If I died right now, I'd die happy…_

My mind fluttered into pure zen mode, all my surroundings shutting out, my mind focusing only on Steve… My love… My world…

"My captain" I mumble, my mind going blank as my surroundings shattered into itself.


	13. Waking up in 2016

((Steve's POV))

I felt the cold hands of the nurse before I opened my eyes. Jumping away, I gazed at the white wash walls, head pounding, wide eyed. Immediately I grabbed the nurse, shaking her in fear. "What year is it? Was I frozen again? WHAT YEAR IS IT?"

"Please sir, you're hurting me" she pulled away as best as she could from his steel grip. "It's year 2016, you haven't been frozen, you were in an explosion" she looked towards the door just as agent Barton walked in. "You need to talk to him sir" she whispered to him, glancing back at me with wide eyes. I shook my head, explosion? Confused I let her go and turned to Clint. "What happened… where am I.. and.. and where's Loki?"

"Uhm, look Steve it's a long story.. well.. it's actually, uhm" Clint shifted uncomfortably. "How much do you remember?"

I ran a hand through my hair, licking my lips and shaking my head. "Not.. not much.. just.." I sighed a little. "Still waking up…" Clint nodded his head. "Ohk well, hey don't freak out, but" he sucked in a deep breath and began to speak in fast sentences. "Loki was kidnapped by Red Skull, we all went to get him back because you were having a mental break down. When we got there he was pretty beaten up, but there was a bomb set up.. so it exploded and.. we.. you.. you were injured and ended up in medical care." Clint paused to watch my reaction. "Steve I'm so sorry, but we couldn't find Loki's body.. we looked for hours." Clint grimaced and looked down at his hands, finding it hard to tell me such horrible news.

I felt my heart sink deep into the pit of my stomach, my eyes began to swim with tears, but I sucked it up. I didn't want Clint to see me broken,. "You lose soldiers all the time." I took a deep breath. "If you don't mind, I would like to sort through my thoughts until Fury arrives."

Clint briefly nodded his head, "I-I understand, I'll leave you alone." Clint walked outside, leaving me to process the new information.

I sobbed silently into the pillow, thrusting my fists into the mattress and roaring in pain. Loki was dead, it didn't matter if he loved me or not, the only thing keeping me grounded in this era was Loki and now… I felt my face grow hot as I heard the voices outside of the room.

"Do you think Spangles is alright?" Tony was talking low to Clint. "Can't you hear him? He just lost the one thing that kept him from diving back into the ocean… imagine if you lost Pepper" Clint grunted, glaring down at the ground as he tried to imagine losing Natasha, and his baby..

Tony nodded stiffly, looking into the room at the soldier. He was curled so tightly he looked more like a ball of something rather than a man. "I.. I didn't know Loki was that.. that important to him" Tony said honestly. "Of course he was, Steve wouldn't have given himself to the supposed 'enemy' if he didn't feel strongly towards him.. what are we going to do? We need to get him some help.. or else we might lose him" Clint muttered, staring out the window. Tony frowned, rubbing his hand through his hair and biting his lip. "I know this great guy, helped me get over everything after Obie.. passed away.. but I'm not sure Steve needs that right now.." Clint grunted again, crossing his hands against his chest as he heard Steve give another yell. "Maybe Tash could talk to him.."

Tony raised a brow. "You want your 'wife' to talk to soldier boy?"

Clint gave Tony a bitter look. "She may look cold and terrible.. but Steve needs a soft touch right now, he's my best friend but I don't know what to say…. Maybe you could ask Pepper to talk to him?"

"Pepper's a little busy trying to calm Thor down right now. Apparently he's freaking out just as much as Steve… if not more. He's.. throwing tables." Clint flinched at the though, no wonder the weather was going down hill. "Mm makes sense" he mumbled. "So.. do you think it's true? That Loki really was lying the whole time?" Tony shrugged, he didn't know what to believe. "Not really. If you looked at how he was gazing at Steve when the blonde wasn't paying attention.. it was like how you look at Natasha." Clint smiled softly, "yeah and the way he would stare protectively when Steve left on a mission.. like the way you stare at Pepper every time you have to leave her" he chuckled at Tony, glad to be sharing a moment with the man. They hardly ever spoke unless needed.

Tony nodded, clapping the man on the shoulder. "You.. you and I are cut from the same cloth.. I think Loki loved him. Very very much.." Clint nodded his head, just as Fury stepped in front of them. "How is Rogers? Is he awake, better be, we have a serous problem" Fury growled, growing impatient from emotional PMSing gods. Tony was about to say something when I stood up and walked to the door, saluting though my eyes were ringed with red. "I am present Sir." I say, nearly tripping on my words and dropped my arm back to my side. Fury grunted, staring me over. "Sorry for your loss, but there is more important things… like the possibility of another world threatening war." I nodded, I was a soldier first. "Red Skull, correct? If I am right he will try to fight similar to before. He's like me.. he doesn't know the world as it is now."

Fury nodded. "Good, knowing Loki, he probably told him some of our weaknesses… so try not to let anything catch you of guard" Fury turned around and headed down the hall, awaiting us. I gripped my fists tight until my knuckles turned white. _Loki wouldn't betray me.. he would.. he was…_

I felt my heart sink even lower. "Perhaps I should comfort Thor." I mumble softly. Clint looked at me, chewing his lip as he nodded head. "Yeah, yeah that'd be good.."

I walked down the stairs, following the enraged sobs from the dining room. I could always tell where Thor was.. he was a pretty loud guy.. but this… this was agonizing.

Thor had been throwing tables, screaming with tears in his eyes. Mjolnir was in his hand. Glass smashing and anger filling his voice. "DO NOT TOUCH ME, LADY OF IRON." He growled to Pepper, howling once more. "Thor please, calm down! I know you're upset but destroying the Stark tower will not help!" Pepper stood to the side, beginning to panic. She looked at Steve as he walked in. "Oh Steven thank goodness, please I need some help calming Thor down."

I nodded, walking up. "Hey Thor.. how.." I tried to think of the right words, but he didn't give me a chance.

"DO I LOOK TO BE IN A GAMING MOOD?" Thor turned around, his eyes slowly fading from the fires of pain as he saw me. "Steven.. I did not know it was you?" he said, dropping the hammer so it thudded on the ground.

"It's ok, I.. I know." I smiled, trying to make it seem like I was fine yet… I ran forward, collapsing into the man's arms and hugging him tightly. "I loved him, I love him so much.. " Thor grabbed me tightly, hugging me close as he cried as well. "You are a brother to me Steven Rogers, for Loki would have married you…" he sobbed louder.

Pepper shifted in the corner she was standing in, heart dropping slightly at the two men embracing. "I couldn't imagine losing someone I hold close to my heart" she breathes, looking over at Tony as he and Clint stepped into the lounge room. Tony walked over, grabbing her by her slim waist as they all watched Thor and Steve cry within each other's arms. Mourning the loss of a brother and a lover. Pepper smiled weakly at him, her eyes watery as she began to feel the loss. "I don't know how we are going to get back into the same rotation.. if we ever will" she bit her lip. "I love you.." she whispered, the thought of losing Tony on her mind.

Tony didn't say it very often, but he knew it would mean the world. "I love you too." He laid a tender kiss to her forehead, holding her tight. Pepper smiled and leant in to him, kissing his neck.

"Jesus is everyone on there period today? What's with all the cuddling and sobbing?" Natasha stood at the bottom of the staircase, watching the scene play out in front of her. "Guys Fury needs us, all of us. Whether you're in tears or not" she turned and made her way to the briefing room, where Fury was no doubt waiting.

Thor and I had pulled apart moments before Natasha had interrupted. They all tramped up the stairs to the briefing room, Pepper being left behind after Tony kissed her a few more times.

We all stepped into the room, Fury waiting at the head of the table. "Ah glad you could make it, now the matter is. We have received some news that the enemy? Red Skull.. is here.. in New York" Fury looked at all of us, pausing on me. "And he has come for you" he said firmly. I clenched my jaw, my gaze turning cold. _Red Skull, I will end you for taking Loki from me…_


	14. Change of Plans

All the information had been laid out clear as day, though there was one thought that kept returning to my mind. Red Skull's blood splattered over my hands.

I wanted him dead, killed and murdered by my own two hands. With no mercy. I had seen it done, Tony and Clint watched those gory horror movies, the ones with people trapped and brutally killed.

I turned my attention to the group. "This is my foe, from my past. I can go alone." I didn't want them to see me when I did this, no matter how brutal I wanted his end, the team needed to see me as a leader.

"Naw, don't sweat it Cap, the six of us can take him down no worries." Tony patted me on the shoulder, giving me a soft grin.

"I have to agree with Anthony, for I wish to face my brother's killer." Thor said with a deep voice, picking up Mjolnir and walking alongside me.

I grit my teeth and clenched my fists. "No, this is my fight.. I-I don't want you to see me when it's over" I mumble, glaring coldly down at the ground. The rest gave me a concerned look. "Hey, you don't have to do this alone.. we are here for you Steve" Natasha rested her hand on my shoulder and smiled at me softly. I stared at her with full eyes, sighing softly as I briefly smile. "You're right" I say, although I couldn't help a slight glare as I scan my eyes across the others. "But Red Skull is mine, I get to claim this kill" I growl softly.

* * *

We stood in a dusty, abandoned warehouse. After following all the signs of Red Skulls whereabouts for an hour, this is where it took us. I glanced behind me at the others, looking them up and down one by one. How would they think of me after this fight? Will they call me a monster for what I plan to do? Will they reject me and kick me to the ground? Would they strip me of my powers and lock me up? I just hope that they can see it through my perspective. Red Skull tortured and killed Loki, _my_ Loki. Surely they could understand how badly I want to see the man bleed. I grit my teeth and look forwards, there was a rusted door ahead with blood engraved markings across it reading 'Hüten Sie sich vor dem Dritten Reich'. I glare coldly at it, knowing what it read, _Beware of the third Reich. _I instantly begin walking towards the door, each step getting heavier and heavier. I reached the large, solid door and my hands twitch. I slowly wrapped my fingers around the doorknob, half expecting the metal to feel hot beneath my grasp. Finding it cool to the touch, I slowly jerked it to test. The door clicked and slowly swung open, the light from the room spilling out.

My breath caught and I dropped my arm back to my side. I heard the others behind me moving forwards. "Guys.." I breathe out, body still refusing to move. "I have to do this alone…". As soon as the words left my mouth the others began to protest. I finally willed my feet to carry me forward as I stepped into the room, closing the door swiftly behind me. "Sorry.." I mumble as I push the lock over the door, standing there in the silence of the room.

I turn around, facing the empty room. _Empty.. _ where is he, surely he must be waiting for me. I take several steps forwards, _come out of hiding you sick bastard, face your enemy. _"Scared of a little confrontation are we? Guess after all these years you still know I will be able to kill you.." I growl, clenching my shield tightly as I stopped in the middle of the room.

"Oh Steven" a voice hissed from the side of the room. "Do you not recall the Hydra's saying." Red Skull walked forward, a grim slip placated his lips. "Cut off one head.." "Two more shall rise forth" a voice spoke, the purple face of a man out of myth grinned down.

I gripped my shield tighter and glared at the new face, not recognising the man. "And who are you? Some other murderer who drank down the serum?" The man chuckled, looking over me slowly. "Fools taking up arms against omnipotence. They rush head-on into Armageddon. So I shall provide them with a most glorious doomsday! The heaven will run red with blood. But in the end, as always, THANOS will stand triumphant!" I stepped back, _Thanos? _I had heard Loki speak of the creature before. A strong, evil god who was definitely a threat. I kept a straight face and slipped into an attacking stance, "you think I don't know how to handle a god? HA.. I have lost count of the amount of times I have duelled with Thor" I raised my shield and made a swift attack, aiming for Thanos' head.

Thanos swatted me aside like it was nothing, shaking his head. "You pathetic excuse for a mortal. You know nothing of the hurt I could cast upon you."

I slammed into the ground, groaning out softly. "There is something you don't know about me, the more you hit me, the more I stand back up" I stood up and chuckled. "Especially when this is out of vengeance." Thanos tilted his head, looking me over in confusion. "Vengeance?" Red Skull nodded "His lover, Loki." Thanos let out a chuckle at that. "The rat? I had him under my control in moments. Wish to know how he squealed for my cock little one?" My eyes darkened, I felt my body give a light shake before I yelled out. "You will bleed out! You will be the one under my control, begging me to end your worthless reigning.. you will pay for what you did!" I made another attack, this time landing a sharp hit to Thanos' head.

Thanos smiled as the blue-black blood fell from the slight wound. "Tell me, Steven of Midgard.." "Steven?" Red skulls face was torn in different direction. "Steven is Captain America?" I glanced over at Red skull. _He didn't know who I was? well, that's good, I guess. _"Yes, my name is Steven Rogers.. and Loki wasn't just my lover, he was the man I was going to marry."

Red skull hissed, looking over at Thanos. "You knew of this and didn't tell me?" the purple man shrugged, looking the red-faced man over. "I believe it to be unimportant information, no knowledge of someone's birth name will change this" With a quick flick of his hand, a blue glow appeared. He took a step forward and pressed it to my chest. "You have heart."

I choked out a cry of alarm before the powers hit me. I straightened up and lowered my shield. My face became calm as my eyes shifted into an icy blue. The man smiled. "Now we kill him?" Red skull asked, grinning wide. Thanos shook his head. "Patience, would it not be more fun to see this? Steven of Midgard. Kill the Avengers."

I stood stock still, waiting for orders to be given. "If that is what you wish me to do.." I say, cocking my head to the side as I smirked widely. "Then give the order.. Master." "I order you" Thanos grinned, picking up my shield and tossing it to me. "Kill them all!"

I smiled even wider, although somewhere inside my head I could hear screaming. I quickly shrugged it of as I caught my shield. I turned and made my way to the door, I slowly unlocked it and let it swing open. "Sorry friends.. change of plans" I raised my shield and smiled wickedly at the others. "This is going to be one heck of a blood bath…"


	15. Coming Home

Tony looked over at me, eyes wide as he bit his lip softly. "Holy shit, he's been.. Tesseract! Guys.." Nat looked up, growling slightly as she backed off. "Clint was able to overcome it, Steve can too." I chuckled, taking several steps forwards. "Lets just make this easy, instead of fighting.. just step forward one by one and I'll kill you each.. I'll even do it quickly"

Clint looked a little hesitant as Bruce and Natasha shifted. Tony rolled his eyes. "Steve, c'mon buddy you know this isn't right, just fight it off" "Stark, that isn't going to help." Clint muttered. Thor nodded in agreement. "It took me much convincing to break Loki of his control."

I threw my head back and roared in laughter. "You people are pathetic! If none of you are going to step forward, then we shall make this into a game.." I chuckled softly as I eyed everyone "perhaps, you.." I smirked at Natasha. She rolled her eyes. "Honey, this Russian hates roulette's Just give it up." she walked forward a little. "I've taken down more than you, and you know it." I was quick on my feet as I made a swift attack, grabbing Natasha and curling my arms tightly around her throat and stomach. "Perhaps, but I love a challenge.." She struggled a little in my arms, watching as Bruce slowly shifted into Hulk. "Boys, be gentle" she warned.

I chuckled as I press a kiss to her throat. "No.. I love it rough.." I tightened my grip and smiled as I began to cut of Natasha's air supply. "I wonder how long you two can last without oxygen.." I looked up, smiling wide at the others confusion. "Oh yes, if you didn't know. Dear, sweet little Tashy is growing a baby inside her.. hmm, not for long" I growled.

Clint growled, pulling out a large arrow. "Guys, I know Steve can survive a wing shot, I got this." He let the arrow fly, aiming directly for the shoulder. I instantly threw Natasha to the ground and moved out of the way. The arrow just clipped my arm as I stepped aside. "Ah, yes.. the man who impregnated the spider…" I chuckled, looking down at Natasha. I moved to pick up the arrow that Clint had fired at me, holding it in my hands. "Yes.. this could come in handy" I chuckled deeply before I picked up Natasha by the throat and held her above the ground.

She kicked, looking to Clint with wild eyes for a moment. "Just get him back to normal" she muttered, licking her lips as Hulk and Thor began to move forward.

I shot my arm forward, piercing the arrow straight into Natasha's gut. "It's a shame no one will ever hear the child's cry of live, but instead, we will hear your cries of death" I twisted the arrow and grinned as blood poured out onto my hand. She let out a howl of pain, only matched by that of Clint's. "NAT!" he screamed, trying to rush forward, only to be stopped by Thor. His blue eyes were wavering as he shook his head. "That is what he wishes." I smiled wickedly as I let Natasha slip between my hands and drop to the ground. "Yes, lover boy.. come to me, avenger her death. You are an avenger, are you not?" He growled a little, bounding back and shooting another arrow at me.

I was too slow for this attack, it pierced me just below my heart. "Is that all you got?" I coughed up blood, the arrow must have pierced my left lung. Clint screamed in anger, shooting another one, growling in pain and anguish. I laughed, only just managing to dodge the next arrow as it flew past my ear. "Such anger, such pain.. oh how familiar it is to me" I chuckled, looking down at Natasha. She lay in a small pool of blood, gasping for life as she grew weaker and weaker. "The baby is most certainly dead now, she wont be far from it either" I gave a soft nudge to her body, rolling her onto her back which forced the arrow to bend and snap.

She let out another angry sigh, grabbing my ankles in an attempt to trip me as she closed her eyes in pain. "CLINT!" she shuttered, throwing her had back and letting out a strangled cry. I hear another scream in my head, a scream of anger. I tilted my head to the side to try to narrow out the sound. "_**YOU MONSTER! STOP THIS! STOP THIS NOW! ENOUGH, PLEASE I BEG YOU JUST STOP HURTING HER!**_" I shook my head as I stared down at Natasha, anger slowly slipping from me. "N-Nat?" I whisper, my mind returning to myself. "Natasha!" I let out a soft choke as I lowered to my knees, scooping Natasha up into my arms.

Natasha looked up into clear blue eyes, smiling a little. "I knew you were in there somewhere." She said softly as her eyes slowly faded and she became limp in my arms, dead. My eyes widened as I held onto her lifeless body, softly shaking as if trying to wake her up. "Nat.. Nat come on, don't do this.. please" I was now crying as I brought her up to my chest and buried my head into her hair. "I cant lose any more people!"

Clint didn't know what to think. "Nat.." he ran up to her, grabbing her away from me. "No! NO NATASHA! You promised me! YOU PROMISED ME BUDAPEST. YOU.." he buried his face hard. "You promised me the family I never had.."

I sat there on my knees, staring with wet eyes at Clint. "Clint I.. I-I.." I shook me head, burying it into my hands. "I can't believe how pathetic you are!" I began laughing, my shoulders racking as my laughter grew into a menacing roar. "Oh how you weep for your loved on.. pathetic, miserable mortal." Clint growled, slamming his hand into the arrow in me, sending it deeper. "That was for my child you ass hole"

I hacked up more blood, arching into the arrow. "Kill me… please Clint" I whispered, looking up with soft blue eyes again. "Send me to Loki.." I smiled. Within a few short seconds my eyes had turned icy once more and a wicked grin spread across my lips. "You don't have the guts" I spat.

Clint was torn, looking between the shattered body of his love and the best friend he clung to. He swallowed deep, pulling out Natasha's blade and slammed it deep into my heart.

I coughed up more blood, leaning forwards with a soft smile. The icy blue has left my eyes, leaving behind dull, sky coloured ones. "Thank you.." I whisper, meaning it for Clint. I got one last glance at Natasha, lying in Clint's arms. Her face looked calm, but pale as ever and showing no traces of life. I sucked in my last breath, letting out a soft choking sob as I dropped to the ground. My only thoughts was that this was all over, I could finally be with Loki once more. I could hear my heart beating slowly, thumping in my ears. I smile softly, _I'm almost home Loki, _when my heart finally stopped.


	16. Road to Redemption

((Loki's POV))

_Death isn't so bad… It's quiet, calm, and.. Peaceful..._

My body ached and my ears were ringing, I felt all kinds of pains throughout my joints and muscles. I cracked my eyes open and found myself staring up through the leaves of a pine tree. I grit my teeth and slowly sat up, my head began to throb although the ringing in my ears lessened. I slowly turn my head from side to side, I was somewhere on a snowy field. "How long was I out.." I mumble, just as I drag myself up of the cold ground. I stand still for a few minutes, making sure my head has stopped spinning and my body can support my own weight.

I slowly start to take small steps, keeping my movements slow and steady as I walk towards what looked like a road.

I heard a distant rumbling sound just as the ground began to shake. At first I thought it was an avalanche, or a herd of animals charging head on to me. But as I look around I notice that there is a large truck heading down the road. I step to the side of the road and stare at the driver, before quickly sticking my thumb out like I saw on a movie I once watched. "Hitchhikers I think they are called.." I mutter softly, just as the truck stops a few meters in front of me. The driver rolls the window down and glances at me, taking in my beaten up form. "You're not from around here, are ya?" he spoke with a thick accent, most likely German. I grunted in response as I dropped my hand to my side. "Well, I'll give you a ride into town, that's where I'm headed" the driver sat upright and waited for me to take the passenger seat.

Once inside the large truck I instantly let out a sigh of relief, being able to relax into the padded seat and taking of the pressure to my joints. I stared out the windshield for several moments, before the sound of the trucker's voice broke me from concentration. "So, how did you get way out here? And what attacked you, a wolf?" he asked, turning to me with a generous smile. I stared blankly at him before I returned to staring out the windshield. "I.. It's a long story, a story I do not wish to remember" was all I manage to speak before I closed my eyes, tilting my head back as I began to drift of. "Oh, well ok then.. What's your name? My name is Hans" he smiled as he tried desperately to make small talk. I sigh lightly, before murmuring, "Loki.." Hans chuckled deeply at that. "Loki? Like.. The Norse god?" I opened my eyes to stare at him, he knew of me? "I.. you know of my kind mortal?" I ask, narrowing my eyes at him. He chuckled, "well if what you mean is that I know about Norse mythology, then yeah I know of you" he smiled, looking at me from the corner of his eyes. "Your parents must have been into it to since they named you after Loki, god of mischief" I leaned back into my seat, still keeping my eyes locked on him. "Hey, do you have a brother named Thor?" he laughed now, amused by it all. "He isn't my brother, I was adopted.." I mutter, before glaring out the window.

Hans slowly nodded his head, although his face broke into a grin. "Adopted? What are the odds that you would go into a family of Norse fans, and Loki was adopted also" he looked at me again, giving a chuckle. I briefly roll my eyes, although my hair blocked the action from being seen. "So.. er.. Loki, what happened to your family? They out there too or, just you?" Hans asked slowly. I grit my teeth, my thoughts going haywire as I got pictures back of the explosion, did Thor survive it? Did any of them live… Did… _Steven…_

"I don't have any family, like I said, I was adopted..." I mutter as I closed my eyes. "Just because they aren't related by blood, doesn't make them any less your family" Hans said in a cheery tone which made me cringe. I rocked my head back and forth before sighing deeply, giving up. "They are not my family because they lied to me.. I was nothing more then a chess piece to my fathers game.." I growl.

Hans shifted in his seat, deciding to let the topic drop. "So, how old are you?" I was silent, staring out at the passing scenery as I thought of an answer. "How old do I look?" I hissed, though it came out more as a wheeze than anything else. Hans turned to look at me once more, narrowing his eyes a little as he scanned his eyes down my body. "Hard to tell with all the cuts and bruises, could be 25.. could be 45.." I took a shallow breath, "25 sounds closer." Though it was much older. "how old are you?" I spat back.

Hans chuckled, before leaning back in his seat. "54, and still kicking" he laughed now, a deep hearty one that rumbled through the truck. I made a face, but continued my silence. Something gnawed at the back of my mind as I sat. "Why did you pick me up?" Hans fell silent, his laughter dropping dead. "Well… you looked like you needed help.." he shifted slightly, his lips pulling down. "I'm grateful." I spoke, turning back to look out the window. I seemed to have struck something raw. Had I not owed my rescue to him, my trickster nature would have surely kicked in.

Hans gripped the wheel tightly before letting out a soft sigh. "My son.." I sat up, looking a little confused. "Don't stop in the middle of a sentence, it's quite rude." He nodded his head softly before taking a deep breath. "You.. Remind me of my son.. He was a young lad like yourself, dark hair and green eyes" he gave a small laugh just as a tear rolled down his cheek. "I wouldn't drive past my own sown, now would I?" I could feel my throat tightening as I heard those words, lips raw from constantly wetting them, I sighed. "I'm sorry for your loss." Hans gave a light chuckle, before smiling wide. "He was adopted. My wife, she couldn't bare children, so we adopted" he smiled over at Loki. "I can see what you are attempting to draw." I spoke softly, wetting my lips once more. "You will not gather a story from me." Hans smiled, before nodding his head. "Yes, some tales are worth hiding.. but it is always best to talk about your nightmares, face your fears.. Learn from your mistakes."

I was quiet once more, lowering my eyes "You cannot learn from a mistake if you feel you made none." Hans slowed down the truck, coming to a stop on the side of the road. "Made no mistakes? Then why do you feel the need to hide such an obviously tragic story? Maybe you didn't make a mistake, someone else made the mistake. Or maybe you did, and you regret opening up like that" he looked me up and down once more, before shaking his head sadly. "To be honest, looks like you opened up to someone who broke you.." I smiled sarcastically, looking out the window. "I do not wish to talk about it." I snapped.

Hans sighed, looking out the window. "You really remind me of my son, he was always pushing away help from others.. and covered up his nightmares with anger." He bit his lip and looked back at me. "Don't let it get too far, or else no one will be able to help.." he started up the truck and began to drive again. I looked down, biting my lip. "It matters not, for those who I care for no longer care for me." I whispered, thinking of Steve. Hans grunted, deciding to drop the topic. "So.. uh.. what brought you to Germany?"

"A bitter enemy." I say softly. "And a love I thought was timeless…"

Hans smiled, "Timeless eh? Those are the best kind…" he swallowed when the sentence hit him. "Oh… I'm sorry." I shook my head. "It matters not. I had changed for him, yet…" I blushed lightly, "I know you Mid—most do not approve of same-gender love." Hans laughed, "my brother has a lovely husband, go on.. tell me about him?" he asked.

I was still for a moment, but decided this was not something I needed to hide. "Gentle, though he was a giant. Blonde hair that I often would card my hand through just to remind me it was not spun gold. Blue eyes that could melt even my frost heart.." I looked down, feeling my throat tighten. "And that smile." I could almost see the man, my lip quivering. Hans gave a weak smile, "he sound lovely.. did something happen to him?" he spoke softly, his own throat beginning to tighten as he fought back stray tears at my words. I looked down. "His heart strayed away from a wretched fool like me." I whispered, curling my legs up on the seat and suddenly feeling all-too small. I closed my eyes and nuzzled into my knees. Hans sighed deeply, glancing down at me. "You.. We don't have to speak of this anymore.." he whispered, as he gently reached out to pat me on the back.

I tensed at the hand, wondering if he, too, would hurt me. But… I sighed slightly, licking my lips.

Hans slowed the truck, being waved over by a German officer. "Wonder what the German army are doing around here.." he muttered as he rolled his window down. My eyes widened. I knew that man, Johann. "They are seeking me. Please.. Hide me." I whispered, wondering if the man would listen or just turn me over. Hand swallowed, before motioning to Loki to get in the back. "Guess it was some severe trouble you got into. If the army is involved." I slipped into the shadows, biting my lip. "I will tell you all soon. Just please.."

Hans grunted a reply, just as he stopped for the soldier. "Yes sir, is there a problem?" Johann growled, looking at the trucker. "We seek a man, traitor to his nation. Black raven hair, eyes of green. More likely to blather nonsense about his name being Norse Mythology." Hans sneaked a look behind him, making sure Loki was hidden. "You know I did see a man like that on the side of the road not too long ago, a couple miles back.." Johann grinned, nodding lightly. "Guten Tag, und dank" he walked out, yelling to his comrades and they drove of down the road. I shivered.

Hans shifted, turning to face me. "You uh.. got yourself into trouble eh? Care to tell" I slipped back into the seat, biting my lip. "Have you heard the tale of Captain America and Johann of Hydra?" Hans started the truck up once more, grinning widely. "Of course! It is a German tale that my father told me.. it.. isn't true is it? I mean Captain America is real.. but, the stories, that's all they are, stories?"

I blushed, looking back. "You were talking with Johann." I whispered. I took a shaky breath. "You heard of the man who came to Germany, the one who ordered all the kneel?" Hans gently nodded, looking back at Loki. "Yes, some murderer who claimed he was a god, wanted to rule over all mankind.. but the Avengers stopped him.. killed him, locked him up, one of the two"

_Murderer…._ I looked down. "Perhaps it is not wide to continue this conversation." I muttered. Hans look back at the road, gripping the steering wheel tight. "That was you.." I looked out. "**WAS**. I had been tortured into submission by a much higher power. My rage and anger for my brother's supposed betrayal fuelled the hate.. I have since calmed myself, chosen a life of peace rather than war…" I sighed. "And of love for a man who saw good in everyone."

"Captain America? That's the man you.. He can't die" Hans blurted out as he shook his head. I nodded, looking over. "But he can fall for someone else." I whispered. Hans bit his lip as he glanced back at me. "You fear he has given his love to another?"

"I _know _he has" I whisper. "Who could love a stolen relic, a monster in sheep's clothing.."

Hans slowly nodded his head, his face falling as he began to feel sadness towards me. "Love is a tricky thing.."

"Love is for children" I repeated Natasha's words to him all those years ago. I sighed, looking down. "I do not wish to talk of the past. But know that Johann was using me to bring Captain America into his web.."

"What happened then? Is.. is Captain America dead?"

I paused, looking down. "I do not believe so. His body was not in the wreck." Hans nodded slowly. "Do you know where he is now?" he tried his best to hide his interest in the Captain. "He was my favourite superhero when I was a child" he whispered, smiling. I nodded, looking out the window with a thin smile. "He was the first I fought upon coming to Mid—Germany." I whisper. _the man lost in time…_ I closed my eyes. "Surprised you are still alive, the Captain is a strong fighter.. perhaps he felt love at first sight and couldn't do it?" Hans laughed, joking lightly.

My heart was torn. Was that it? Was that why Steven talked to him first rather than fight him head on? I felt pain zap though my body, shaking. Hans relaxed back into his seat. "You kids and your talk of heartbreak.. why do you believe he does not love you anymore? Have you seen him with another?" "Yes." I spat. "I have seen him with one I thought was a friend, though now I see it was a lie. I should have known" I was miserable. Hans chewed his check, looking back and forth between me and the road. "Perhaps.." he whispered. "Or maybe he truly is just a good friend, and you mistake the relationship? May I tell you a story, between me and my wife?" he asked, looking at me. I nodded, figuring it was the least I could do.

"Well, we had just gotten married.. and we were madly in love of course!" he chuckled, smiling at the thought. "Anyway, we just returned from our honeymoon and all our friends came to visit us constantly. There was one man in particular who visited my wide almost every day. I began to think 'maybe he is more than a friend.. maybe..' and that was a struggle, to think the women I loved, could be in love with another!" Hans slowly shook his head. "I nearly divorced her, we had the worst of fights.. I can't believe the things I said to her." Hans looked back at me. "But just as I was about to sign the divorce papers, I realised something.. I was so in love with her, and she was so in love with me.. I couldn't go through with it.. I nearly destroyed my marriage because I misread my wives relationship with the best friend she has had all her life.." he gave a smile. "Perhaps.. you too have misread it.."

I was silent as I listened. I sighed deeply, nodding as I did. "I believe that may be the case but.." I bit my lip. "I do not feel worthy of his love." Hans shook his head. "Of course you are not worthy" he chuckled. "Anyone who says that are not worthy are definitely not. It is YOU that has to believe you are worthy, who wants to date a self loathing person? If you believe in yourself, then you deserve any love you can get."

I was hesitant. I had always been this way. My mind raced as I slowly thought about everything. It was… I shivered. "I do not know how."

"Hiding behind someone else's shadow is hard to live with, stepping out into the light is the hardest thing to do." He looked back at me. "it takes great courage, or a great person to pull you out.. you have to figure that out on your own." I nodded again, looking down at my feet. Was I going to be a better person? Now that I now longer stood in the shadow of Odin or Thor. _I was my own person.. I.. _I smiled. "Thank you"

Hans smiled wide. "Any time friend" he reached over and patted me on the shoulder. "Well, we are in town now, last stop I'm afraid." I nodded, bowing my head in thanks. "I believe I can make it from here. I shall hope to see you once more, friend." I whispered. Hans grinned, nodding his head. "Oh, and go get him!" he called out from his open window. "He sounds like a true hero, if he has managed to get the God of Mischief on the good side." I blushed, but nodded, waving slightly and walking to the nearest Tavern to call my brother.


End file.
